Warren Buffett's latest sexual analogy

July 9, 6:13 PMWarren Buffett ExaminerWilliam Freehling

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Warren Buffett is keen on using sexual analogies to explain financial matters.

The Berkshire Hathaway CEO quipped today to "Good Morning America" that Congress' first economic stimulus package this year was like taking a pill filled with half Viagra and half candy -- in other words not quite stimulative enough. He suggested a second stimulus package might be needed to pull the country out of its economic doldrums.

During the movie at the start of Berkshire's annual meeting this year, Buffett was jokingly shown pulling Playboy magazines out of his mattress. Perhaps Buffett's most-famous sex line came in an interview with Forbes magazine in 1974 when he said the opportunities brought about by the stock market's decline were making him feel "like an oversexed guy in a harem."

Here are sex references from each of Buffett's last four letters to shareholders:

From 2008 letter, on derivatives and the importance of choosing your partners wisely:

Derivatives contracts, in contrast, often go unsettled for years, or even decades, with counterparties building up huge claims against each other. "Paper" assets and liabilities – often hard to quantify – become important parts of financial statements though these items will not be validated for many years. Additionally, a frightening web of mutual dependence develops among huge financial institutions. Receivables and payables by the billions become concentrated in the hands of a few large dealers who are apt to be highly-leveraged in other ways as well. Participants seeking to dodge troubles face the same problem as someone seeking to avoid venereal disease: It's not just whom you sleep with, but also whom they are sleeping with.

From 2007 letter, on investing mistakes:

Finally, I made an even worse mistake when I said "yes" to Dexter, a shoe business I bought in 1993 for $433 million in Berkshire stock (25,203 shares of A). What I had assessed as durable competitive advantage vanished within a few years. But that's just the beginning: By using Berkshire stock, I compounded this error hugely. That move made the cost to Berkshire shareholders not $400 million, but rather $3.5 billion. In essence, I gave away 1.6% of a wonderful business – one now valued at $220 billion – to buy a worthless business. To date, Dexter is the worst deal that I've made. But I'll make more mistakes in the future – you can bet on that. A line from Bobby Bare's country song explains what too often happens with acquisitions: "I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I've sure woke up with a few."

From 2006 letter, on moving the needle at Berkshire:

We continue, however, to need "elephants" in order for us to use Berkshire's flood of incoming cash. Charlie and I must therefore ignore the pursuit of mice and focus our acquisition efforts on much bigger game. Our exemplar is the older man who crashed his grocery cart into that of a much younger fellow while both were shopping. The elderly man explained apologetically that he had lost track of his wife and was preoccupied searching for her. His new acquaintance said that by coincidence his wife had also wandered off and suggested that it might be more efficient if they jointly looked for the two women. Agreeing, the older man asked his new companion what his wife looked like. "She's a gorgeous blonde," the fellow answered, "with a body that would cause a bishop to go through a stained glass window, and she's wearing tight white shorts. How about yours?" The senior citizen wasted no words: "Forget her, we'll look for yours."

From 2005 letter, on growing both Berkshire's investments and operating businesses:

As you can see from the two tables, the comparative growth rates of Berkshire's two elements of value have changed in the last decade, a result reflecting our ever-increasing emphasis on business acquisitions. Nevertheless, Charlie Munger, Berkshire's Vice Chairman and my partner, and I want to increase the figures in both tables. In this ambition, we hope – metaphorically – to avoid the fate of the elderly couple who had been romantically challenged for some time. As they finished dinner on their 50th anniversary, however, the wife – stimulated by soft music, wine and candlelight – felt a long-absent tickle and demurely suggested to her husband that they go upstairs and make love. He agonized for a moment and then replied, "I can do one or the other, but not both."

What can you say, the guy likes a good sex joke! Buffett has a great sense of humor that he often doesn't get enough credit for.