Hash house harriers are drinkers with a running problem

May 8, 5:38 PMHouston Running Fitness ExaminerKelly Smith

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Are you up for a challenge? Are you both a runner and party oriented? If you answered, “yes” to all three options, as Jeff Foxworthy might say, “You just might be a hasher if...” Although there are hash groups and clubs all over the world, the umbrella organization is simply the Hash House Harriers.

If you've never hashed, you haven't lived. Hashers rate a 0.5 on a 0.0 to 10.0 inhibition scale. These runners have maximum fun under very difficult conditions. Although you could call the hash a race, nobody wins unless everybody not only pushes personal limits, but also cooperates for the good of the whole pack. But no, this is not the aerobic Star Trek Borg. And no matter who wins, everybody cashes in on the liquid trophy: beer, and lots of it.

In other words, if you've been slacking on your running speedwork, No worries! On the other hand, hashing is easier on the body for runners who have incorporated hillwork training into their routine.

In all the world of running and other fitness activities, hash house harriers are undeniably the most social athletes of all. The run, which is a prelude to the hash circle (party), is one of the most fun runs you can think of. I must admit, I've only hashed once, but it was one of the heights of my running experiences. It was in Challenger Park in Friendswood and part was run in dense underbrush and part in knee-deep mud. Read on to find out how it all works.

If you decide to hash, and I sincerely suggest that all runners give it a go, unless profanity and partying is just too offensive, buy some good trail running shoes.

Of hares and hounds

Boiling it all down, that's what you've got. Hares and hounds. The hare (or hares), arrive early and secretly mark the trail. They usually try to make it convoluted and deceptive, for what is a hash if not challenging? The rest of the pack, or hounds, have to follow the trail to the final conclusion, a keg of beer.

On the hash I ran, flour was used to lay the trail. The trail on my hash had plenty of dead ends, splits, and false trails. Only the true trail leads to the terminal point, the finish line, where the hares were already enjoying their favorite adult beverage.

Earlier I mentioned that the hounds must cooperate for the good of the pack. How? The pack follows in the general direction indicated by the mark on the ground. They spread out in possibly logical directions. So how does the pack stay somewhat together and narrow down the goal? They holler to the rest of the pack:

• “Are you?”: Trying to stay close to the pack on the true trail. This is a fine-tuning method to avoid being out there all day.
• “Checking!”: A response meaning, “Maybe, I'm finding out now.
• “Looking!”: Meaning, “I think I've lost the true trail, but I'm looking for it again.”
• “On-on!”: Translation: “Heck, yes! Follow my voice!”

Other trail markers

Besides the arrow, there are other signs to understand. First, be aware of the false trail. Sure you were positive you were on the true trail for the last 10 minutes, but then you round a tree and are greeted with “FT”, a “T”, or some other sign. Time to back up and try again. Remember, the hares that laid the trail are drinking beer and laughing at you at this very minute.

This is the one to look for. “NB.” Literally, this means Near Beer. At this point you can probably home in on the keg by the sound of the hares laughing, now into their third beer.

The circle, or the post-hash ritual/ceremony

This is where the social aspect really kicks into high gear. This is the time to welcome and just-in-jest humiliate virgins (first time hashers) and re-boots (those runners that haven't kept up with their hashes). It's also time to pour the beer and sing lewd songs. None of the time-honored lyrics can be repeated here.

Don't forget "Down-down!" OK, my favorite. This means, drink your beer!

This is also the time that you might have your hash-name bequeathed upon you. Most of these are not repeated in polite company. Don't ask. I'm not telling. Mine had something to do with a BARC PUKE Run and, well, I just won't go into it.

Ready for the challenge? In Houston, Google the Houston Hash House Harriers. If you live elsewhere, just substitute your city in the search box.