Lingerie Football League gets ‘Caliente’ in Miami

May 11, 9:30 PMMiami Sports ExaminerEddie Mujica

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You know that “alternative” Super Bowl halftime show that has been going on for the past couple of years? No, I’m not talking about the musical performances by Paul McCartney or Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers that have taken a detour from the once pop-fueled presentations. I’m referring to the one that takes place on pay-per-view, the one that draws millions of viewers and -- oh yeah -- the one that features women playing football in bikinis.

That would be the Lingerie Bowl, folks, which has apparently developed into something more organized than the original “strip-a-bunch-of-hot-chicks-down-to-their-skivvies-and-let-them-go-at-it” concept.

In fact, beginning in September of 2009, the Lingerie Football League will officially kick off with a full, twenty game schedule. What started as a four-team gimmick with the likes of the Los Angeles Temptation and the Dallas Desire, the league will now feature additional franchises such as the San Diego Seduction and, yours truly, the Miami Caliente.

I kid you not; this is legit. See for yourself.

Our hometown team (if you want to call them that) even held tryouts earlier today at the Bank Atlantic Center in order to fill their roster. Here’s the wording straight from the (casting) call:

Gentlemen and, er, gentlemen...your 2009 Miami Caliente!
(Photo courtesy of Lingerie Football League) 

“Applicants should bring a picture, a bottle of water, and an enthusiastic attitude!”

P.S. – Applicants should NOT bring any sense of inhibition, self-dignity or remorse.

“Be prepared to take part in basic offense and defense drills as well as catching and throwing a football.”

FYI – This 5-minute session will take place between rigorous “pole dancing” and “mud wrestling” drills.

I’m going to be honest. If women feel empowered by participating in something like this, can get decently compensated and have fun, then I’m all for it (I know most guys are!). But after taking a look at the homepage of our Miami Caliente and seeing the roster, watching these women out to kill each other via cat fights is not exactly the “fantasy” that comes to mind.

Despite the obvious, there is something else that I can’t help but think of when I look at this: the XFL. There’s a reason that other league was a total bust and lasted only one year. Can you really see this idea booming from a yearly halftime show to a weekly, respectable competition? You can argue that they’re not gearing towards becoming reputable in any way, shape or form but that only supports my opinion that they should just go all out; kick the door off its hinges, lose the clothes altogether and make it a Playboy Channel exclusive.

Or, I could be completely wrong. The LFL could become a huge commercial success, complete with 18+ trading cards and NSFW video highlights, and we can thus expect to witness an exchange like this in the fall:

Announcer 1: And welcome back to the Bank Atlantic Center, where we are witnessing a titillating matchup between the Seattle Sonics ::cough:: I mean, Seattle Mist and your Miami Caliente!

Announcer 2: Don’t you just love saying Miami’s team name in that Latin accent, Bob?

Announcer 1: Not as much as I love witnessing what I’m witnessing right now, Jim.

Announcer 2: Right you are! The Miami Caliente are blowing the Mist out thanks in large part to the one-two punch of their star runners on offense.

Announcer 1: Yes, this team definitely has the best backs in the league.

Announcer 2: ……ah, I see what you did there.

Together: The LFL in Miami…it’s muy Caliente!