Relationships 101: Is it love?

September 4, 4:47 PMRelationship ExaminerDebra Collins

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You begin dating and you can't get him or her out of your mind. You can't concentrate, you feel euphoric. Everytime you close your eyes and think of him your heart races. Everytime you close your eyes and think of her, your body tingles.

You check your text messages, emails,and voice mails, compulsively. You fantasize about your future together. Your co-workers and friends tease you. Your mother worries about you. But when does attraction become love? How do you know?

The early stages of a relationship are about attraction and symbiosis. If it feels good to be around them you of course want more. Love, the deep intimate type, takes time to develop.

If you pronounce "love at first sight" and it works out, it is a great romantic story. If it doesn't work out everyone will say you moved to fast. Attraction at first sight is real;give yourself time for love and intimacy to grow.

Here are some thoughts and questions to start the process of  "figuring it out":

• The red flags in the beginning are the red flags at the end. Discuss the red flags and see if there are solutions to those differences.
• Do you both have the same values?
• Are you both willing to work on communication as a foundation for your relationship?
• Are you meeting each others friends and family members, or does it feel that the relationship is not public?
• Are you able to manage conflict ?
• Do you both want to practice safe sex? 

A great book to help you with this is a General Theory of  Love 

 For more on this topic: Go to Relationship Examiner, Debra Joy Goldman, and check out her  article "Is it "Love or infatuation" for more helpful information.