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Relationships in the news: family, friends, and fans say goodbye to Michael Jackson
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AP Photo Mark J. Tirrell
When the first news of Michael Jackson's death flooded Twitter, the internet and the airwaves there was little mentioned about Michael's three children; Prince Michael Jackson ,12, Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, 11, and Prince Michael Jackson II ( Blanket Jackson,) 7. Many think of Jackson as a pop icon, not a parent.
Today that changed. At Jackson's memorial service his role as a father was lovingly and tearfully acknowledged by his daughter Paris. The courts have temporarily issued custody of Michael's children to his mother Katherine. However, ex-wife Debbie Rowe (the mother of the two oldest children) and the unknown mother of Blanket, could come forward to contest the arrangement.
Both biological mothers relinquished custody, but when there is a death and only one surviving parent, mothers have been known to change their minds. When celebrity and money is involved their change of heart may be in question, but the courts have always favored reunification.
It may be awhile before that gets sorted out and Michael's mother Katherine may also want to include other family members as guardians as well. Grandparents ( due to age and health) often want to make sure that there are sufficient alternative arrangements for the care of minor children.
Surviving children typically fear the death of their other parent or guardian. And it is common for there to be a longing to reunite with the non-custodial parent, even if the parent has not played a previous role in their life. The Jackson children will hopefully have the opportunity to seek the support they need both as individuals, siblings, and as a family to deal with the challenges of grieving that lies ahead.
Participating in their father's memorial service was a positive first step in allowing them to grieve in the way that meets their needs and developmental stage of life.
For more information on family grief: www.griefnet.org/
On parental grief: www.compassionatefriends.org/
For grandparents or family members adopting or providing foster care for relative's children www.kinshipcenter.org/
For more information on behavior, parenting and relationships visit me @ messylife.typepad.com/my_weblog/
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