Professional Advice on a Parents’ Role in College Admissions

March 5, 5:33 PMCollege Admissions ExaminerLauren Starkey

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Marilyn Emerson will visit fifty colleges and universities this year. She did it last year, too. And the year before. She’ll take the student-led tours, attend information sessions, and meet with admissions officers. No, she’s not trying to help her own kids find the right school. Emerson is a professional educational consultant who, for the past twelve years, has been helping students “find schools that fit who they are.”

Parents of high school juniors and their students (including the College Admissions Examiner and her son) are starting to think about school selection. I’ve written about how to make the choice, determining your "college personality," and a company that offers DVDs of college tours. But imagine getting the advice of someone who gets to know her students, and who makes it her business to know the schools. Not just the big names, but hundreds of colleges around the country.

When I spoke with her earlier this week, I asked her about the role of parents in the process. “Parents get a bad rap,” she replied, noting that they have their child’s best interests at heart. “Although I primarily work with students, and encourage them to take control of the process, there is a significant role for parents. During campus visits, I ask that they focus on different aspects of the school than their son or daughter.

“Parents can look for clues to how the college is spending its money while students are checking out the sushi bar and the dorm rooms. If there are new buildings going up, are they geared toward student needs? How is the campus maintained? These are important clues that students will miss, but parents can pick up on.

“I also encourage families to make the visits fun. Don’t grill your daughter about what she thought the minute you get back in the car. Attend a sporting event or a show at the school, and don’t try to visit more than two colleges in one day.

Since I’m working with my son to plan campus visits for April vacation, I asked her for some advice. “Look at some schools that don’t fit his original plan [which for us is anything further than half an hour from a mountain where he can snowboard]. You might find that what you thought you wanted wasn’t that important. And you can always learn from what you don’t like.”

I’ll be taking those words to heart as we head (a little) further south this April.