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Bad situations with bad people...never again
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The Realtor was being interviewed about his twelve years experience in real estate, the bubble, and how he acquired his clients when the housing market was optimal. He went on to explain that his best niche for finding costumers was divorcing couples. They never negotiated with the selling price of the property or his commissions, because they both wanted to get out of the commitment of owning a property together as soon as possible. The Realtor also remarked, how in each break up there was one spouse that had left (usually with someone else) and the remaining spouse that did most of the negotiating tended to portray the Ex as the most disgusting and evil human being. Although the Realtor maintained neutrality, he always observed that these houses were well kept and that there seemed to be an atmosphere of care around the living areas. More often than not, he observed photo frames from earlier times where the couple seemed happy and loving. Many times, he'd casually remark that if the person was not happy in the home/relationship perhaps it had been for the better that he/she had left, but the answer was always a disagreeing silence. It seemed to suggest that the disgruntled spouse still wanted the other person there perpetuating the unhappy coexistence.
The above example illustrates how average people react in negative personal situations. If people only knew and managed the power of their brain appropriately much pain would be avoided and lives would be more fulfilling. The Realtor never understood what happened to those loving memories and why the resentments would take over with such force in both parties. It was as if those happier times had never existed and now considered a waste of time. Western philosophies constantly repeat that life can only be experienced in the present. Carrying bad memories from the past only spoils the present. Thinking too much about the future causes worrying and removes the person from being solidly in his present.
If bad situations with bad people were to be dissected, it would be discovered that there is a vast amount of elements that make up a bad experience. A person alone cannot create a bad experience for another. There is more, there needs to be a correlation in time, in space (location), circumstances, experiences, etc. A person conscious of the above elements would deal very differently with the divorce scenario or any other similar scenario that would cause great emotional pain or distress.
Here is a little mathematics to fully understand why there is no need for such waste of time and emotion. Average healthy humans tend to live past the age of eighty. The approximate land surface of the Earth is about fifty seven million square miles and the approximate population of Earth is about seven billion people. The above numbers mean that if one could meet just one person every second, he would need two hundred and twenty years and if he could travel to each square mile of land on Earth every minute, it would take him one hundred and eight years. The point is that a life-time is too short to spend a second more than needed with someone, or in a situation that is not desired. There are no exceptions for this rule. Even if one is sacrificing through a rough situation for other motives, this counts as consciously deciding to live through a situation. Seeing it this way, takes away the responsibility and power from the other participating negative person(s).
Other elements, such as emotions, memories, judgments, considerations, commitments, experiences, etc. are also very influential, but these are more controllable than time, space or people. These other elements are the internal influences of what make the person within the human. These internal forces are the true beauty of existing as a human being. People have far more control in this area. It is just a matter of conscientious focus and intent. Emotions like hate, resentment, anger and fear are parasites that are tolerated and allowed to exist within individuals, families and societies. Their natural predators, such as love, gratitude, compassion and faith are also allowed, but not nurtured with enough intent to develop them into completely wiping out the first group. A lifetime will include many challenges, yet, it is each individual's free will that will determine if these challenges will become a sea of drama or a world of opportunities to be grateful about.
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