Review of The Alzheimer's Project - Grandpa, do you know who I am?

May 18, 8:23 PMPittsburgh Elder Care ExaminerDavid Lindberg

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                   Photo from HBO

The second part of HBO's The Alzheimer's Project is titled, "Grandpa, do you know who I am?" This part is about all the family members dealing with victims of Alzheimer's Disease, especially grandchildren. This disease can be a very scary think for children and they need to be brought into the discussion about what is happening to their grandparent to allow them to better understand and perhaps be a bit less fearful and able to appreciate the time they still may have with their grandparent. It is best to talk to them and encourage them to still speak to or visit their grandparent if they are in a nursing home, but if they do not want to go, let them know that is OK and normal to feel that way. Keep encouraging them and keep talking to them about what is happening.

Here are some highlighted points about this film:

There are no silly questions for Alzheimer’s. Kids are blunt and ask anything of their grandparent who has Alzheimer’s and that shows us that we need to ask them about how they feel and have family discussions about it with the victim.

There is no control in AD so there is only the NOW. We don’t know what’s next so appreciate every minute for it’s own sake.

When dealing with Alzheimer’s, just go with the flow. Don’t try to make sense of a conversation or enter logic...just go with their conversation, whatever it is.

Some children who have to deal with or help take care of a grandparent are amazingly brave and deal with their mood swings and are very grown up because they have to deal with this. Kids are more in the moment and not as judgmental as adults and that is a better way of dealing with AD.

It’s OK to be afraid of Alzheimer’s. Many children are afraid to visit grandparents in nursing homes..it’s a scary place for them and they need to know that it’s OK to feel that way. You can try to encourage them to visit, but understand if they are too fearful. It’s important for all of us to remember that when someone with AD acts differently or doesn’t know you or is moody, that is not them, that is the disease. We need to remember that it is not directed at us.

Kids can be the keeper of memories. They can find pictures or movies and put them together or make a scrape book of them. This is the way they can keep the memories alive and find some happiness when their grandparent has AD. They can ask people questions about their grandparent and film them as an interview and make a documentary about them.

One thing that children remind us of is that when they have a grandparent with Alzheimer’s, the one thing they wish is that they would have known them when they were younger. That is something that we as children of AD parents also wish for and it is a reminder for us to cherish the moments we have with our parents when they are young. Someday those precious moments will be gone.

HBO Documentary Films