Misplaced modifiers make a mess of marketable prose

April 9, 9:03 PMChicago Freelance Writing ExaminerMaryan Pelland

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                 Is your prose arresting?       (Disney poster)

The grammar police warn you, you won't make money or sell your writing by mixing your metaphors or misplacing your modifiers. Nothing makes a writer look as amateurish as silly nonsense sentences in the middle of a serious piece of writing.

(Wrong) Raised in Nova Scotia, it is natural to miss the smell of the sea. (Here, the sea was raised in NS).
(Right) For a boy raised in Nova Scotia, it is natural to miss the smell of the sea.
(Right) Raised in Nova Scotia, I often miss the smell of the sea.

For the next two - Be careful of where you put almost and nearly - they need to be in front of the word they modify - "almost 20 times."  Otherwise, the dog almost ran - was he trotting?

Big Dog almost ran around the yard 20 times.
He nearly ate a whole box of treats. (Then he decided not to eat them?)

More misplaced modifiers

The young girl was walking the dog in a short skirt.

The explorer told our class how the cannibals ate the men in the cafeteria. (Yum!)

I heard that my roommate intended to throw a surprise party for me while I was outside her bedroom window.

Ian told us he would start behaving like a responsible adult at his stag party. (Odd occasion to turn a new leaf.)

The mangrove tree shaded my car which was also a home to a nest of robins.

Joan went to meet the president wearing her gold flowered dress. (I bet the pres looked awesome in that frock)

We found an ancient olive grove hiking up the mountain. (!)

Uncle Al shot the tiger that sprang at him with his rifle. (sharp shooting tiger!)

The sale at Bowen’s features shirts for men with minor flaws. (No man is absolutely perfect.)

My sister dropped in while I was scrubbing the floor with her new baby. (!!)

Clare opened the package brought by the letter carrier with a cry of delight. (I admire enthusiastic mailmen)

Dad had been looking for a mechanic who can repair our car without success. I found that mechanic!)

Paul had a tomato that he had grown himself in his lunchbox. (Should Paul wash the box more often?)

The first umbrella was invented by an anonymous Englishman with whalebone ribs. (Bionic Englishman?)

Read some of your older work. How often you misplace modifiers without realizing it?