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When you have a blended family, Mother’s Day can be very complicated. First of all, your biological children are with you on Mother's Day. That’s the standard. Unless, of course they’re teenagers. Then, well, let’s just say that your biological children are supposed to be with you to celebrate Mother’s Day. Your spouse’s children are with their mother on Mother’s Day -- unless, of course, they’re teenagers, and you know how that goes. Your mother is with you, most likely, and your mother-in-law is with you, too, even though her grandchildren are celebrating what should be her Mother’s Day with their mother, her son’s ex-wife. Have I lost you?
Another way to celebrate Mother's Day in a blended family is the politically correct blended blended family celebration. Or, as I like to refer to it, blended family squared. If Hell’s frozen over and everyone is talking to everyone, it’s a very civilized idea to combine your blended family with your spouse's ex's blended family so that all the mothers involved get the benefit of the Mother's Day celebration. This involves inviting the exes and their respective blended families to celebrate Mother's Day at a brunch, a tea or a dinner. Even if it requires everyone to hold their noses and to get along for two hours, it will be a wonderful example of the best of blended families and a good life lesson for your children that everyone can get along, even if it's just for a short time.
If that's too big a step for your blended family this year, another way to celebrate Mother’s Day is to have step-children spend the first half of the day with their biological mothers and the second half of the day with their step-mothers. This requires enormous maturity on the parts of all adults. It sends a message to the children that you recognize the other mothers in their lives. It's also a way for all the grandmothers to get to see their grandchildren.
When your step-children will be only with their biological mothers on Mother’s Day, and not with their step-mothers at all, make the best of it. It’s so easy to whine and moan and stress over the unfairness of it all. Don’t waste your time. Accept reality, keep your sense of humor, and know that next year may be different. Enjoy the day for what it is, a celebration of mothers.