
What better way to celebrate with the ole' man than to sit down and watch a fun Father-Offspring type of movie? There's nothing like sitting on the couch and sharing a bowl of popcorn with Pops, and enjoying a sweet flick about an awesome dad doing awesome stuff.
Quick plot synopsis: Retired ex-commando John Matrix lives in the mountains with his daughter (Milano). The daughter is kidnapped by bad dudes and Matrix tries to get her back. That simple. No symbolism. No thematic threads. You won't find raining frogs in this movie, or shots of Ahnuld staring wistfully over a field of wheat. What you will find is a death count of roughly 80-100 people, mostly nickel and dime soldiers who get mowed down by a seriously armed John Matrix, and a handful of bad guys that take a little extra work.
The best death has to go to David Patrick Kelly's character, who is dangled by one leg over a cliff by John Matrix and he says to Matrix "You promised you killed me last!" and Matrix replies "I lied" and let's go of his leg. Good times. Also really funny in that scene is a little yellow car that crashes and gets banged up, but when John Matrix rolls it over and drives away, we can see the side of the car is in pristine condition again. Oh the hilarity of movie continuity mistakes!
The action is spread out pretty evenly throughout the movie, but there is an undeniable awesomeness to the final action sequence, which pretty much is the story's third act. John Matrix hits the beach with all sorts of weapons (after raiding a weapons surplus store) and storms a mansion where his daughter is held (and literally guarded by an army). You'll be cheering with your Dad while Ahnuld takes down row after row of nameless baddies with automatic fire. And keep an eye out for the tool shed, where innovation meets vulnerable body parts. You'll never look at a table saw blade the same way again (or the top of people's heads, for that matter).
So if you're looking for a fun way to spend some time with Dad, then throw in Commando and bask in the glory of the 1980's violence. Fans of Beverly Hills Cop will recognize the location of the final gun battle as the same mansion used in the showdown in BHC. And maybe you can work out some sort of Commando drinking game to make it all the more fun. A few suggested rules: 1) Every time John Matrix does something based on his formal training, take a drink. 2) Every time John Matrix kills someone, take a drink. 3) Every time Alyssa Milano cries, take a drink. Just build on that and you are on your way to a memorable Father's Day.