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Need to say no? Avoid the good candy trap
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Learning To Say No Saves Time And Energy
You’re standing around the water cooler minding your own business when your co-worker from the next cubicle starts pleading with you to organize next month’s holiday office party. Your brain does a quick game of connect the dots and realizes that between next weeks sales presentation and your Aunt Joan’s visit, the inevitable answer must be no. As you open your mouth to say “I’m sorry I wish I could, but I can’t,” you do a 180 degree turn around and out spills “ I would be happy to.” Why is it that such a small two-letter word can be so difficult to say?
The key is to learn to say “yes” to the right things and “no” to the wrong ones. That’s easier to do if you understand the saying yes traps and their solutions. Over the next few posts, I'll outline a few ways to say "no" like you mean it.
Trap: Good Candy. Remember when you were a kid and there was always one house on the block that handed out really good Halloween candy? Your plans always included a visit to that address.
Even as an adult, no one wants to feel like they are missing out. Say you get invited to the movies, or you are asked to be part of a task team at work. Instead of saying I’m too tired or busy, you say yes for fear that if you decline you might miss an opportunity.
Marjorie Brody author of Career Magic: A Women’s Guide to Reward and Recognition says, “We are afraid that if we say no, we might miss a chance to be recognized for our talents or seen as someone who is willing to jump in and help out. We don’t want to be the only one not going to the party.”
Smart Solution: When you want to participate but the timing or scope is wrong, you can always offer an option or ask for a rain check. Try saying “I’d love to be asked at another time.”
