Ten reasons to get pumped for college football

August 28, 5:06 PMCollege Sports ExaminerJacob Osterhout

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Who's ready for some football?

With the college football season kicking off next Thursday, it's time to renew our vows and remind ourselves why the upcoming season will be the best since, well, last season.

Below are ten reason to be psyched for the upcoming year of college football.

1. Despite an awful economy, an awful team and an awful head coach, Michigan is having no problem hawking Big House suites for up to $85K a year. If people will spend that kind of money to watch a three-quarterback rotation, the the economy is definitely on the rebound.
2. Matt Barkley will be the first true freshman to ever start at quarterback for the USC Trojans. The big question remains: Will he be able to concentrate with the Song Girls prancing around on the sidelines.                     
3. Former Duke point guard Greg Paulus will start the season at quarterback for the Syracuse Orange, allowing all those Blue Devil haters to finally see the six-foot tough guy take a beating.
4. In the wake of athletic department budget cuts, the New Mexico State football team has solicited after-practice and late-night snacks from fans. Which reminds me, was there anything better than orange wedges after a pee-wee soccer game? Certainly not.
5. Hefty Maryland football coach Ralph Friedgen lost 105 lbs. this off season and he didn't even have surgery. Eat your heart out, Charlie Weis.
6. Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor is rumored to have run a 4.33 40-yard dash last Spring, which would make him the fastest player on the Buckeyes. That kind of speed, is a beautiful thing to watch on a large HD TV.        
7. Duke actually snagged a football recruit from Ohio State, Wisconsin, Nebraska and Tennessee. Offensive lineman Laken Tomlinson had 16 scholarship offers and chose the Blue Devils over other big name schools, proving once and for all that anything is possible.
8. When asked during the summer what he would say to Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin, Florida offensive lineman Matt Patchan told The Gainesville Sun, "I’ve got nothing to say to that guy. He’s a bozo.” Would there be anything better than a fight between Kiffin and a 300-lbs. lineman? Only if Kiffin's wife reffed.
9. To improve sportsmanship, the American Football Coaches Association and NCAA are encouraging schools to arrange team handshakes on the field before kickoff. This is just the first step on a slow march toward pre-game slumber parties, which should make excellent TV-viewing material.
10. Tim Tebow has the opportunity this season to become the greatest college football player ever. Of course, in order to accomplish such a feat, he'll first have to avoid having his name or likeness used in minor league commercial promotions.