Another band on double secret probation

October 7, 5:47 PMCollege Sports ExaminerJacob Osterhout

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Don't mess with the UC Davis California Marching Band-Uh! They like to get naked.

It has been a rough week for collegiate marching bands.

First, the Wisconsin marching band was indefinitely suspended for undisclosed reasons that are thought to be related to alcohol abuse and sexual hazing.

Now, the UC Davis California Aggie Marching Band-uh! is in trouble. Its own director, Tom Slabaugh, has filed a sexual harrassment complaint with the university claiming that the Cal Aggie band is a "hostile work environment."

The actions of the Cal Aggie band that Slabaugh describes in his complaint to the university conjures up images of the Delta House's fight against Dean Wormer in Animal House. Sophomoric? Yes. Disrespectful to authority? You bet. Funny? Absolutely - unless, of course, you are the authority.

Here's a brief list of the UC Davis band's transgressions:

• On a road trip last year, a trumpet player yelled "naked van!" and both male and female members of the band stripped to their underwear.
• A sousaphone and clarinet player used masking tape to write "I BOOBS" on a van window and a passing motorist called the university to complain. (Writer's note: Isn't a word missing there?)
• When the band director brought his nine-year-old daughter to school to sell Girl Scout cookies, someone had written F-Slabaugh on the chalkboard.
• Band members urinated in a dorm elevator and then recreated the scene for a photographer the next day.
• Male band members often dropped their pants and female members stripped to their bras.
• A bass drummer interupted an evening practice by performing a lap dance.
• A drummer was caught drinking beer in the drum room. When Slabaugh had her suspended for two weeks, the band sent him rude emails.
• Slabaugh received a Christmas card from the trombone section that read, "I saw you masterbating."

The first big question - When did marching bands get so crazy? (Reading the last section of the San Francisco Chronicle article it's apparent that bands have been crazy for a long time.) This is quickly followed by a second and third question - Who is this Slabaugh guy and why is accusing the marching band of sexual harrasment when what they really are is rude and insobordinate?

The UC Davis band during a trip to UNC in 2005:

The over-arching issue here is that the UC Davis band is a student-run organization, which means Slabaugh has no authority to expel musicians. And everyone knows that without a legitimate threat, there is no authority. Remember, before Slabaugh got the job, the band hadn't had a director in over four years.

So, imagine if some super serious music professor shows up and tries to tell you not to pull down your pants. What is the first thing you are going to do? That's right, pull down your pants.

At least until administrators decide to give Slabaugh the power to expel band members, it seems that the UC Davis band has gained the upper hand in its fight against The Man; Director Slabaugh is currently on stress leave.