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Opposites attract…at first
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Good guys and bad girls only last in the movies the same way that a Republican married to a Democrat only works in the Governor’s mansion in California. For the most part, all “opposites attract” relationships start and end the same way.
First, the sparks fly upon initial contact. The instant chemistry ignites feelings of passion and desire. Next, the relationship burns as hot as white fire; love and lust entangle themselves as you both explore each other mentally, emotionally and physically. But eventually, the flame is stifled by lack of oxygen. Each person begins to feel as if the other person is choking them. You stop viewing her as complex and start viewing her as complicated. The viewpoints and comments that were ignored initially, now take center stage.
Harmony is at the heart of the issue. In relationships, there are many things that a man should hope to accomplish. First on my list to love and be loved. But a not-so-distant second is to have peace and harmony in my relationship with my wife.
When two people fundamentally disagree on major issues, they are setting themselves up for failure. I have a friend who happens to be a devout Christian. He fell hard for a sweet girl who just happens to be an Atheist. I’m sure you can imagine how that turned out. Within 8 months, he was broken-hearted and back to square one.
But not all “opposites attract” relationships have such obvious issues. Many times the problem is subtle. He likes to live for today. She believes in saving for tomorrow. He’s into health and fitness. She considers an apple turnover to be a part of her daily fruit intake. And though these examples seem like small things that most adults can overcome, couples with similar issues have about as much of a chance at happiness as Michael Vick and a PETA spokes model.
I wouldn’t be ridiculous enough to suggest that men and women must share all of the same views and desires, but I am saying that when you enter a relationship you must really take stock of where that person is coming from and where they plan to go. If you are incompatible on some basic values, then you are incompatible period. And no amount of good lovin’ is going to change that.
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