Family Meal Straight Talk

October 10, 9:41 PMHome and Living ExaminerAndrea Campbell

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Just recently relatives (who will remain nameless) came to visit. We collectively decided Friday night would be “pizza night” since there were eleven of us, with four children under twelve. When my niece filled a plate with a slice and handed it to her son in front of the TV playing the video game Burn Out, I objected. “In my home, everyone sits at the table and eats meals as a family. My table is 108-inches long (an Ethan Allen Farmhouse dining table with three leaves) and can accommodate just about everyone.” This was met with groans and protests.

When I had visited this family last spring, I was frankly dismayed. Sometime after 5:00 pm things started to take shape. The mother of the four children proceeded to prepare four different meals. Then, one child sat in front of the TV eating her specially prepared frozen kid’s meal, a half hour later another ate on the couch (after a good jumping session), then still later, well, you get the idea. All the children had different food, ate in a variety of locations, and no one sat down together. I love these parents but I thought to myself, “Who is running the show here?” If this is modern parenting, I’m ashamed for them.

October
October is National Eat Better, Eat Together Month. “That means it’s time to corral the kids and tempt the teens with healthy family meals,” says The Association for Dressings & Sauces (ADS). They also sponsor a site called: saladaday.org

Overweight Legacy
The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the average American family spends more than $2000 per year on dinners away from home, and that 10 percent of those dinners come from McDonald’s.  More than half of the dinners eaten by overweight American children are consumed in front of the television.

Researchers Say
University of Minnesota researchers found that the importance, structure, and atmosphere of family meals may help to steer adolescent girls away from eating disorders. Studies showed that girls who ate regular, family meals in a structured and positive environment were less likely to exhibit extreme weight control behaviors such as diet pill use, vomiting, and chronic dieting.

Experts in adolescent development claim that in the teenage years, the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words and know which fork to use. I say, “Wow! pass the peas.”

Powerful Claims
Well, these are powerful claims and I have some additional ideas listed below with more specifics; because I wanted to make some suggestions that may help to bridge the gap. You may have kids who whine about meals, or would rather be doing other things, or be off on their own. So here are some suggestions I thought up to try:

Try These:
Let all age children participate in meals. And this means menu planning, shopping and actual food selection. If they have a stake in the meal and how it comes out, they are more likely to want to eat it.

• If you can’t do a family dinner, at least opt for a family breakfast. (Which can be a boon because most children like breakfast foods.)

• Teach your children how to set the table. This is a mindset that preps them for the routine of things.

• Turn things off. Make some rules. Yes, you don’t need a Norman Rockwell moment but I suggest you turn off the TV and all the phone service for meals.

• Designate a regular time. Oh, yes, I know the world is hectic and we are all busy, but instituting meals and making them a priority gives consistency, and will eventually become a habit. This is something you must all work at.

• Give kids a break. Don’t make this the time to bring up bad grades, ugly boyfriends or expectations. Talk about things you all like. Ask for your child’s opinions and then respect them. Teach them etiquette by example not brow-beating.

• Change venue once in a while, move outdoors, do a picnic, or add a different ambience with candlelight.

For other suggestions check out articles by the Parenting and the Work Life Balance Examiner.

I really believe that this new family plan will help to give your family stability, identity, and help to inform your children’s culture and future behaviors.

Good Luck and Enjoy!