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The Axioms of Surfing

August 25, 9:36 PMSurf ExaminerPat Pemberton
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Photo: Mike Baird

 

A FEW SIMPLE RULES TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE IN THE LINEUP

 

Whenever it’s getting time to call it a day, my friend Dan and I are careful not to say the words.

 

We’ll give each other physical cues – a nod of the head or a raised index finger – but we dare not speak. Because the second we utter that line – “One more wave!” – Mother Nature or Father Neptune or whoever it is that controls ocean stuff is going to make sure that last wave never comes.

 

It’s one of my Axioms of Surfing.

 

What is an axiom, you ask? Well, if you want to get all technical about it, it’s a proposition that is not proved or demonstrated but considered to be either self-evident, or subject to necessary decision.

 

Or, as I say: stuff that happens.

 

Right now, my Axioms aren’t quite as well known as, say, Shaun Tomson’s Surfer’s Code, but I’m working on getting the word out. You can help by printing this out and, I don’t know, maybe putting them under people’s wiper blades while they’re at the beach. Except don’t tell them it’s from me because that might make them mad, and, to be honest, I don't want anyone mad at me.

 

In fact, if they ask, tell them it's from Shaun Tomson.

 

Then they'll actually look at it and read:

 

The Axioms of Surfing

 

1.) When you’re pressed for time and you say you're going to catch one more wave, a lull hits, and you end up being in the water for 45 more minutes.

2.) As soon as you paddle to a better spot, the waves break in the spot you just came from.

3.) The last wave you catch is always the worst, forever prompting you to consider just One More Wave. Then it’s back to #1.

4.) If you plan to surf on Sunday, the sun will be out the entire day on Saturday before the fog rolls in for the rest of the weekend.

5.) As soon as you brag about it being a good day, the conditions will start to suck.

 

 

Photo: Mike Baird

 

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