Is Your Partner Cheating?

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September 1, 11:20 AM

by Patsy Rivera, Relationship Examiner

 

 

If your partner is cheating, you think you’d know it but that often is not the case. Often catching a cheating partner can  be a   difficult; painstaking task.  Infidelity can fly right under your radar for months; even years. The cheater has the advantage in that you trust them and don’t question their actions. You want to have faith in them and your relationship. In this case love “can” be truly blind. It’s easier as well to deny what you see right in front of you because you don’t want to be hurt; you don’t want to feel less than adequate; you don’t want to believe your partner could do this to you.

If you are determined to prove your partner may be cheating you need to ask yourself one thing, “Are you sure you’re ready to know the answer?” What you find out could turn out to be some of the most painful things. The truth could really hurt. With all that in mind if you are certain that you want to know if your partner is cheating, let’s look at some of the ways you can find out:

• First off, mentally prepare yourself. Do you have a best friend or family member you can turn to when you need to vent? If you keep this all bottled up inside, you’re going to be no good for anyone, not even yourself.
  
  
• Have little things begun to change? Is he/she working late more, taking longer lunches during the day?
  
  
• Have you talked to your partner about the state of your relationship? You don’t have to come out and ask them if they are having an affair but you can slide in subtle little questions. Perhaps suggest taking a long vacation and see what excuses they can give you for not going. You’ve been with them long enough you can always read the signs on their face.
  
  
• Do they call you less and less? Remember when you first started dating and how you talked to each other all the time? Well, now you seem to talk less and less. No more cute phone calls over lunch just to say hi. The text messages with “I love you” or some other cute anecdote are few and far between. Perhaps now is the time to begin checking their phone bill. Most companies offer online bill viewing and most cellular companies will state the phone number and times of all incoming and outgoing calls and text messages.
  
  
• Do they try to hide what they are doing on the internet? Do they immediately close down their email when you walk in the room? If so it may be time to catch them in the act by adding some spyware on your computer. There are several programs like Big Brother that monitors everything that happens on your computer. Most take screen shots every few minutes and even capture each little keystroke. So you will be able to see usernames and passwords to those little accounts your mate is trying to hide from you.
  
  
• Is your partner concerned more than usual about how they look? Did they go from wearing no cologne to wearing it everyday? Has she went from no make-up and her hair in a ponytail to looking like something from the cover of a fashion magazine? If so, this could be a definite sign that something is just not right.
  
  
• Check their wallet/purse. Does your partner have a credit card you knew nothing about? Are they spending more and more and you have no idea where it is going? Was lunch the other day more than usual and they’ve said nothing about it? Don’t worry about being nosey. This is your life too. Dig deep.
  
  
• Has your sex life fallen by the wayside? Have you gone from 3 to 5 intimate moments a week to maybe 2 times every two weeks if you’re lucky? This could be a sign that things just aren’t right.
  
  
• Follow them. If push comes to shove you could always camp out and follow them. If they say they have to work late, then park down from their office, see if they leave and go somewhere else. If they are working late do you know who else is working late in the office with them?
  
  
• Of course there is always the daunting task of hiring a private investigator (PI). It may costs you a pretty penny but it might help in easing your mind one way or the other. Remember, PI’s are experts in this sort of thing plus your partner has no idea who they are or what type of vehicle they drive, so it makes a PI’s job of following your partner a lot easier.

No matter which way you choose to approach it, cheating hurts. In the end if you find out your partner is cheating you have to decide your next step: stay and work it out or just go. Many couples can’t bounce back from infidelity. Others figure out what went wrong and go onto make it work. Each relationship varies so what works for one couple may not work for you. However, taking the time to look further into some of the above steps may help you in knowing if your hunch was right or wrong.

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