Review: 'Confessions Of A Teen Idol'

January 5, 2:23 AMTV ExaminerRick Ellis

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I was never a teen idol, and during my run in show business, I wasn’t ever within spitting distance of even being a “D” list celebrity. I was stand-up comedian for about a decade, and when I stopped performing I was just another club comic, headlining rooms and opening for arena bands. I had done some minor TV work—primarily for cable—but I doubt that many people knew who I was even when I was at my peak.

I stopped touring to take care of my Mom after she had a stroke, and I’ve honestly never regretted the decision. But I still remember what it was like to walk off a stage after 45 amazing minutes of explosive laughter. Of how it felt to open for some music act in front of a few thousand people and hear a wave of laughter make its way towards you from the back of arena. There are times when I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in the business, or whether I missed out on some opportunity to become a star.

Which is why I have a lot of sympathy for someone who was once a star and found their fame slipping away. As much as I miss the spotlight, I only had the slightest hint of what it must be like for everyone to know your name. For the experience of walking into a bar and having your pick of the women and the booze.

Still, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to watch the new VH1 reality series "Confessions Of A Teen Idol." I think it’s fair to say that many of the celebrities who make an appearance on a VH1 series probably shouldn’t have said yes to the idea. And the idea of watching producers emotionally torture some former teen stars just seemed to be more cruel than entertaining.

I ultimately decided to tune in because the show’s two main movers are former teen stars and presumably would be sympathetic to the plight of these former celebs. Scott Baio ("Happy Days") has come off of two successful VH1 reality shows, and both of those were co-produced by former teen star Jason Hervey. So maybe this show would be different.

For the most part "Confessions Of  A Teen Idol" is a kinder, gentler reality show, but there are a couple of wince-worthy moments in episode one. Much of the first half of the hour introduces that cast, and updates the audience on what they’ve been up to since they were household names. Well, to be honest, some of them were more of a household star than others. The group includes two former "Baywatch" stars (David Chokachi and Jeremy Jackson); "Beverly Hills 90210" singer/actor Jamie Walters; "T.J. Hooker" costar Adrian Zmed; "Real World" and "The Grind" star Eric Nies; Billy Hufsey from "Fame" and "Blue Lagoon" actor Christopher Atkins.

For the most part, the participants are basically out of show business. Jamie Walters is a fireman, Billy Hufsey has an unnamed corporate job and Eric Nies is doing some sort of odd personal lifecoach work with former drug addicts. And then there is Zmed, who claims that he is "content" with his current role starring in a one-man show on a cruise ship.

So far the pace of the show has been remarkably kind, and as the participants were getting their first task, I remarked to my wife that I had a feeling that gentleness wouldn’t last. The stars were told they were going to a special red carpet event where they would get to meet some of their more passionate fans. They took a limo to the event, where they walked to red carpet and heard the roars of applause from the crowd waiting inside. They walked onstage, the curtain opened, and the club was empty. Except for Baio and Hervey, who told the celebs that they needed to let go of their egos and their memories of former stardom if they were going to move forward.

As you might imagine, this turn did not please many of the stars, and to be honest, I cringed when I watched it unfold. Sure, at least one of the stars should have noticed the event was sponsored by the non-existent "Hollywood Weekly," and that the waiting crowd on the red carpet seemed to be both thin and remarkably bad actors. But regardless, it was a cruel trick, and I can understand their anger.

David Chokachi was the most upset, complaining that he had said no to this project for months, and only agreed to sign on after he was promised that the stars wouldn’t be mocked and treated badly. And given the amount of abuse someone like Gary Coleman will put up with to be in front of a camera again, I can understand his reluctance.

Chokachi packed his bags and left, and only agreed to return after producer Jason Hervey arrived to calm him down (a scene which I’m guessing lasted much longer than the 30 seconds we see on the screen). But he and the other stars are now a bit more wary about the experience, and what may be coming in the next days and weeks.

I also have to talk a bit about “celebrity psychology expert” Cooper Lawrence. She holds a group session with the stars at one point in the episode, and she managed to dodge Eric Nies question about her qualifications for counseling them. It seemed to mostly involve the fact that she’s appeared on TV talking stardom. And if simply talking about something made you an expert, than I would be the world’s leading authority on sleeping with Sandra Bullock.

In the end, "Confessions Of A Teen Idol" was pretty much what I expected to see. There are going to be some "Surreal Life" moments in the coming weeks, but I think overall the results will be closer to “Scott Baio is 35” than "But Can They Sing?" It’s easy to mock these semi-celebs (particularly the aggressively weird Nies), but I do wish them all well. I hope they end the eight-part series happier than when they started. And maybe Walters will get that second chance to record a hit song.