Communication is key to splitting chores

I recently attended a conference hosted by the local Chamber of Commerce. One of the topics discussed was how to de-clutter. During one of the sessions an attendee asked: “How do I get my spouse to share in the workload?” Everyone in the room chuckled and nodded in acknowledgement of the million dollar question.

As you seek to balance the demands of your career and family life, you may be asking yourself the same question.

Here are some tips that will help you win your spouse’s cooperation in sharing the workload at home:

1) Develop a plan together: Notice that the operative word here is ‘together.’ You may have a clear picture of what you believe the household priorities are, but if your spouse is not on the same page you won’t make much progress. Schedule 30 to 45 minutes of uninterrupted time with your spouse to identify your joint priorities and to divide tasks. Be sure that you each agree to take on tasks that you are comfortable with. For example, at my house my husband is most comfortable doing the landscaping and vacuuming while I’m more comfortable doing the laundry and cleaning the bathrooms. Since we both agreed to take on tasks that we’re comfortable with, the tasks are more enjoyable and easier to complete. Once you agree on the tasks you will each take on, develop a schedule and keep it in a visible place that you can both refer to.

2) Don’t Nag: Nagging is never pleasant; especially for the person on the receiving end.Instead of motivating your spouse into action, nagging will cause your spouse to become resentful and feel disrespected. In a marriage, words can cut or heal. Use your words to sow seeds of love. Remember that you’ll catch more bees with honey than vinegar.

3) Say “Pretty Please” and “Thank You”: Always show respect for your spouse’s time and show appreciation for your spouse’s efforts. Say “please” when you ask your spouse to take on a task and always say “thank you” after he/she completes it. You should do this even if the task isn’t completed exactly the way you would have completed it. In addition, find something positive and encouraging to say about your spouse’s contribution. Your encouragement and appreciation will fuel your spouse to want to continue to share in the workload and go the extra mile.

Your ultimate goal is to develop a working partnership with your spouse. If you put these 3 steps into action, you will be well on your way.