RSS
Home
When unemployment hits the relationship
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
.jpg)
One of the top five reasons behind divorce or break ups comes down to one major issue: money. Unfortunately, in our country's economic situation, this problem seems to be increasing. Many people are losing hours at the office, having salaries cut, or simply moving to another category all together: the unemployed. Through the past few months, our country's economic recession has caused many to lose their jobs without hope of finding another one any time soon. Some are even being forced to put their education to the side and accept a job that at one time, they might have been highly over-qualified for. Now, you're probably thinking: "hello! Laura! Your columns are supposed to be about relationships...not the state of our economy." The problem is, while I do so enjoy trying to take peoples' minds off of the economic disarray, one must acknowledge that it not only affects our business relationships but our personal ones too.
One of the sweetest women I know, Karen, lost her job last January. Though she had been previously warned that it might come to the company letting her go, Karen, and her family, were devastated to learn the news. Two weeks later, when it seemed like nothing else could go wrong, her husband was let go. While Karen doesn't have a degree but has always worked hard at her job, her husband actually has his Master's degree in his field. Everyone told him 'don't worry. You'll find work! You have a Master's degree.' Unfortunately, this has not been the case. In May, Karen took a job she felt was beneath her and her husband began doing part time work for a hospital.
Now you may be thinking, okay so what's the problem. Unfortunately, Karen and her husband went through such a hard time in the past few months that they always picked and poked at the other one and not in a loving and fun manner. Instead, they were irritable and frustrated with their situation, unsure of how they were going to pay their bills, they began taking their anger out on each other. Of course, this didn't relieve any sort of stress, nor did it bring about any kind of joy. Instead, Karen and her husband found themselves pulling apart. While finding the part time work has helped the situation some, the problem is still there.
Money, or the lack thereof, has always caused problems. Surely back in the days when all man had to do was drag his woman back to his cave, he had hoped against all hope that he could support his woman. Otherwise, he might have been the one to end up with the knot on his head. What couples seem to forgot sometimes is that it is not you against me. My income versus your income. We're in this thing together, especially if you live together. Many couples wind up pulling completely apart because they forget that for the majority of them, gold-diggers excluded, the money wasn't what brought them into the relationship in the first place. Am I saying that money USN't important? Of course not. Money is important--to an extent. Unfortunately, when unemployment hits, breaking down the paycheck chain, money becomes a main concern. How do we pay the bills? What's my bills? What's your bills? What's wrong with you? Why did YOU get laid off? All of the questions seem to move from worrying about money to worrying about whose fault it is that we must worry about money.
Many people are saying that the economic problems our country is facing right now are just affecting pocket books. Unfortunately, we all know that when our pocket books start getting attacked, a relationships blow up/ speed bump/ or at least heated discussion (tears included) is shortly to follow. The one thing to remember is that if there isn't a paycheck coming in that you like or even agree with, or if your status has now changed to the unemployed, if you are in a committed and loving relationship, the one person you always know, or at least should know, will always be there for you is that significant other half. While arguing is inevitable because lets face it, no one's relationship is perfect, it is possible to take the attack out of the argument and leave the battle without any major and irreconcilable wounds. If it wasn't possible to overcome monetary disputes, how would any relationship have moved past the third date? And why would the marital vows include "for rich or for poor?" It's not set up to be an unachievable goal if you find yourself facing much more of the poorer side of that vow. It's set up so the two of you can depend more fully on each other.
Now, I am not saying that it's easy to do so. In fact, it seems like M and I discuss our money issues every day. That reminds me, I have a bone to pick with him later about some...wait...I'm losing sight of this article. Look to each other for strength. At the end of the day, a couple might be all they have.
For more info: go to the Examiner.com
Comments? Questions? Email Laura at relationships.lauramoran@gmail.com
Related Articles:
Add a Comment
