Where family and work intersect

January 5, 11:03 AMCareers and Family ExaminerJen Boyer

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There's an interesting post on WashingtonPost.com about Michelle Obama and women balancing careers and family.

When my oldest was born, I continued working full-time. When my twins were born, I took a demotion and worked full-time, but many of my hours were put in at home with one baby in my lap, another crying in a bouncy seat next to my desk chair. I went back to a more traditional schedule after they were a year old, then finally left my job to stay home after my youngest was born. 

But even as a "stay-at-home" mom, I have continued to work 20-30 hours a week as a freelance writer. I feel very fortunate to be able to do this, but financially it's a necessity. Even before my husband was laid off, my income was our gas and grocery money. Now I've managed to increase my workload, in an attempt to reduce our family budget deficit.

Most of my "stay-at-home" friends are also working, running businesses or Ebay shops or daycares out of their homes. Why is this? It seems two incomes are necessary for most families, and I don't want my husband to work two jobs away from home. More women have college degrees than in years past, so it is harder to let go of a career about which one was passionate, or into which one has invested a lot of time and money. 

I like working. I like writing. I take pride in contributing to our bank balance, and I get the best of both worlds -- I get to be home with my kids, and I get to show my children that women have more to contribute than recipes and household tips.

The downside? People fail to see this as real work. The expectations for women who work for themselves, from home, are different than the expectations for women who work full time in an office. Many of my friends in similar situations work until 2 and 3 a.m., then get up with their kids before 6. Two acquaintances recently asked me whether, in light of Jason's layoff, I'd considered getting a job. Each time I tried to answer with all the patience I could muster, explaining that I already have a job. In fact, between the work of child care and the work of writing, I already have two.

Sigh.

What about you? Are you burning the candle at both ends, staying home and working? Do you have a more traditional schedule? How do you and your family balance work and home?