Oh boy!!! School has started again and there‘s always that moment where you breathe a HUGE sigh of relief and thank your lucky stars that you have a schedule once again to rely on. On the other hand, you have a schedule once again which leaves no room to breathe, go figure. No matter, you kind of always feel a little (or a lot) like this.....….
It’s that period right before school starts where you relish unnaturally in the unscheduled, the laziness. Isn’t it funny how often this time where sleeping in and actually doing something fun should reign supreme but instead it all tends to fall to the wayside because you end up becoming over booked with errands to get ready for the year ahead? It’s irony at its best.
Many people jump right back in the saddle when it comes to the next school year with no hiccups. It’s when your kids switch schools, you move or you have a child move from Elementary to Secondary school that life can get a little bit tricky.
Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life. ~Yiddish Proverb
How exactly do you prepare your kids and yourself for these huge changes? It is important to actually think about this topic and share your feelings with your children. Ask them what concerns they have. It’s a scary place to attend a new school with different schedules and friends and activities and sometimes the transition is hard for your child and harder for your Family. I mean, wouldn’t you have anxiety if you weren’t sure where the bathroom was at work?
Taking certain steps when your child switches schools are very important for a smooth transition. It’s important to physically go to the school before the beginning of the year, walk around, see if you can arrange a tour so when your child arrives on day one it is more familiar. Talk to people in your neighborhood if you’ve moved. Chances are someone will go to the same school and maybe you can arrange play dates with them before school begins to help skirt the fact that all new friends will need to be made on day one, ugh. If you can, join a sport or activity prior to school beginning to help your child adjust to new friends and possibly make a friend who attends the same school. If uniforms are required, make sure you know ahead of time what your child should wear. What could be worse than waltzing into your new school and not blending right in? If you take these steps, any new school is certain to be a little less scary.
As a parent, it’s probably always best to go ahead and take the first day of school off of work or work from home. It’s never a guarantee what the first day will be like and it’s a good idea to be around in the event of an “emergency”.
Not until your child moves from Elementary to Secondary schooling will you really understand the importance of having all the right information ahead of time. When my daughter headed to Middle school this year, I felt more confused and overwhelmed than when my youngest started Kinder. I had the fun of having 2 children at 2 different Elementary schools (long story) and thus my pick up, childcare mania was more complicated than most, but believe it or not, this change was worse!
Every child’s school has a different policy regarding cell phones, but I can tell you they have saved me more than once. Often when you need to communicate with your Middle or High schooler, a quick text can end or stave off a panic when Mom or Dad is running a bit late.
The other trauma from Secondary school children is the fact that most go home alone and day care dissolves right in front of your eyes. Once a wise Mom (who I thought was delusional) told me that when you have a baby that day care is just fine, it’s when they hit Middle school you need to hang up your boots and stay home. Although it may sound funny, it is wise to have your stay-by-yourself tween understand some serious rules early on. Usually giving them more responsibility along with the independence they earn as an older child is the winning combination. It prevents boredom from turning into bad behavior. Often, it’s important to lay down rules and it is advised to occasionally head home early from work or work from home unannounced….SUPRISE! Nothing like little Johnny never quite being sure when you will arrive. During this time in your parent child relationship, trust is key. Every child is different, but it is important to communicate with your child that trust is earned and is much easier to get than retrieve when broken.
There are many great articles found here all about this fun transition that can help any parent’s fears and lead to a smoother change for everyone.
It’s funny when you think back to having babies and how changing a diaper or dealing with colic seemed like the most challenging time in your life. The reality is as your children grow the physical needs of your kids diminish and the mental needs and challenges begin. Ironically, it’s important to use the same techniques now dealing with your school age and teenage kids that you thought were obsolete once your kids could feed themselves and go to the bathroom alone. Take my advice, no matter the drama or confusion regarding your child, take a deep breath, step back, and try not to lose it. I know, I know...... easier said than done.
Melonie Goede-Gonzalez ~ email me @ svmomblog@yahoo.com
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