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Culturally correct: How to behave like a local in Japan
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Kimono-clad Japanese woman
After searching for an office building in the Akasaka district of Tokyo with no luck, I stopped, stared at a map and frowned.
Apparently, I must have looked miserable because a middle-aged Japanese businessman approached me, asking in careful English, if I was lost.
This was the beginning of a beautiful, if brief, friendship.
The man looked at the address written in both Japanese and English on the back of a business card from my hotel. He smiled, gestured to our left and proceeded to lead me in that direction.
Blocks and blocks and blocks later, we reached my destination. Surprised, I expressed my gratitude, shook his hand and then watched in awe as he walked back in the direction from which we had just come. I had just had an encounter with a real gentleman.
After dozens of trips to Japan, I have discovered that the art of minding your manners is a very important aspect of society in this extremely polite nation. In fact, I have never been under the wing of a host or colleague who has not gone out of his or her way to make me feel welcome no matter what.
Often I have been treated like royalty.
That said, consider the following, all traditional aspects of life in Japan:
* Whether you are in a business situation or a social setting, be sure to wait for your Japanese counterpart to initiate conversation. Acting this way might mean enduring a long period of silence, which is perfectly acceptable and very much appreciated in Japanese society.
* If you ask a question that should result in a negative answer, you might get a positive one anyway. In my experience, saying "no" is not a very popular way to respond in Japan, so often a person will say "yes" when he or she really means "no." It's confusing but true.
* During a discussion with anyone Japanese, personal questions are often part of the line of questioning. This is not to be taken as rude behavior but rather as a way of expressing keen interest. To deflect any query you consider not for public consumption, simply give a vague response, smiling while you do so.
* Because most menus are not written in English, when dining out it is perfectly acceptable behavior to point at the plastic replica of the dish you wish to order. These very realistic culinary stand- ins will be on prominent display at the restaurant's entrance.
* No matter what you are served and no matter how much you don't want to eat what is in front of you, take a taste. You don't need to consume the entire dish, but if you don't show some willingness your host will likely consider you to be very rude.
* If you are eating noodles, feel free to slurp. Not only is this the polite thing to do, it is encouraged as a way to appreciate better flavor.
* Do not clean your plate to signify you have finished eating. A little food left on the side means you are satiated, whereas the lack of food on your plate means you would like some more.
* If you are drinking, do not drain your glass unless you want another as this is the silent way of asking to be served again. Instead, keep the glass half full even if that means pouring water into the mix to measure up.
* When someone offers you a toast, respond in kind with a toast of your own.
* In many Japanese situations, such as entering someone's home, it is polite to remove your shoes, so be sure to choose your socks carefully. They should always be clean and without holes. To be safe, pack plenty of new pairs when you are planning a trip to Japan.
Click here for an article on gift-giving in Japan.
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