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Our Own Worst Enemy
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It is a common occurrence that, after a big blow-out with our loved one, the first thing we tend to do is seek the support of our closest friends. Immediately, we re-hash the brawl, detailing everything from the nasty word exchange to the emotional pain they left us, swearing at times that the person is the devil him (or her) self, and that you can’t believe you ever loved such an insensitive A-hole, and so forth.
Of course, more often than not, our overreactions tend to dissipate, and before long, we are back in the arms of our sweetheart, promising to never fight again, spewing forth gushy pet names and professing our undying love.
However, what about all that word vomit you spouted to your pals, which have now left them with a loitering representation of this “jerk” you are dating. It is assumed that you neglect to mention all of the many wonderful little things your love does for you on a daily basis because, let’s face it – sometimes it’s more fun to bitch and exaggerate the calamity in the process; but keep in mind that although you may have forgotten that battle, your friend certainly hasn’t and may not be so easily forgiving. In fact, she may defend you to the end against the person you love the most (again). What you tell your friends about every disagreement you have with your significant other may leave a lasting impression.
It is a sad reality that people tend to latch on to the negative in many circumstances, be it restaurant reviews, movie reviews, personal traits or comments by a stranger. It seems that even when hit in the face with a plethora of positivity, we allow one off-putting instance to torpedo our mood.
It is imperative to keep as many problems in your relationship between the two of you since heeding side commentary by your posse could get to the point of impairing your union. Listening to downbeat criticism when you really don’t know its roots, not only blights your own decision-making, but can ultimately destroy your bond, especially if you usually revere your friends’ advice. It is essential to remember that, although I am all for the power of friendship, they do not know what goes on in your romantic relationship much more than we know the inner-workings of the C.I.A.
In conclusion, if a problem in your relationship is relentlessly bothering you and you have contemplated the solution to exhaustion reaching nothing but dead-ends, by all means, consult with a friend to help you come to a decision. Otherwise, leave your dirty laundry at home where it belongs.
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