Divorce, Dating and Stalking 101

November 6, 9:03 PMDivorce Support ExaminerCorinne Frontiero

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Other than obsession, anger, power and control, who knows what else goes on in the mind of a stalker? Bottom line, while it is not your behavior to own, like it or not, you are going to if you a: can’t define what stalking is; b: think you can "handle it on your own"; (and unless you have a Clinical Psychologist as a best friend), will c: think you can calm the situation down.  Yet, truly the reality is that you cannot and you should not.

This article, while probably most beneficial to Michigan residents, will hopefully give individuals, on a  national level, a frame of reference on how to determine whether or not you are being stalked "comparatively".

In Michigan, “stalking”, under Michigan Penal Code MCLA (Michigan Compiled Laws Annotated) 750.411h, subsection (d) is defined as:

“… a ‘willful course of conduct’ involving repeated or continuing harassment of another individual that would cause a reasonable person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimated, threatened, ‘harassed’, or molested, and that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested."

An article entitled Are You Being Stalked? A Citizens’ Guide to Michigan’s Anti-Stalking Laws published by the Michigan Women’s Commission further defines for us:

“In this definition, “willful course of conduct” refers to a pattern of behavior made up of a series of two or more separate and noncontinuous acts which share the same purpose. The term ‘harassed’ is defined as repeated contact without permission, resulting in emotional distress.”

So that you might also have the full benefit and understanding of MCLA 750.411h, the actual statute has been attached for your review and future reference: www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(4l3bvougy420whysjizqi245))/mileg.aspx

If you struggle with legal jargon (although the statute is a rather “easy read”) and in an effort to set a framework for other national readers, essentially, Are you Being Stalked? advises us that “STALKING TAKES MANY FORMS":

• Following or appearing within the sight of another.
• Approaching or confronting another individual in a public or private place.
• Appearing at the work place or residence of another.
• Entering or remaining on an individual’s property.
• Contacting by telephone.
• Sending mail or electronic mail.

Pretty interesting stuff, really, if you stop to think about some of the behaviors that occur on our social networking websites nationwide.

The article defines for us also, who the victims are. While we hear endless stories about celebrities being stalked, “Anyone can be a victim of stalking – ordinary citizens or celebrities.” The article also stresses the statistic that “One out of 20 ‘adults’ will be stalked in their lifetime.” Note, the emphasis on the term, “adults”. This is stressed for the point that while the statistics of stalking women are high, men can also be stalked.

So, what’s the best course or “recourse” against an individual that continues to harass you? Know your state’s law on what the definition of stalking is so that you may then be able to identify it and educate yourself about your legal rights, in preventing and/or stopping it!

Above all, do not feel guilty about reporting it or employing the aid of friends and/or family members to help you address it. Too often, it is the victim, not the victimizer that feels the “guilt” affiliated with shameful acts. If you can get past that feeling, you will then be able to confront, work through and defuse a potentially dangerous and harmful situation.

While relationships end we are entitled to the right to move forward. If you don’t properly address and diffuse this type of situation, however, your author guarantees that your chances will be reduced and the resultant scars of being victimized by this type of behavior will make you think you cannot. Don’t be a victim of your own decisions, reach out, and employ all the help necessary including law enforcement to eliminate this type of aggression!

“There is a fine line between serendipity and stalking.” – David Coleman. 
 All articles are © of Corinne Isaacs-Frontiero and All Rights Are Reserved.

For more information: view Corinne's website at www.booksonrelationships.net, and visit her at the Motown Writers Network.