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Sometimes I hear men say that it's tough getting a girl into bed.... I just think to myself how crazy that sounds. Most women are longing for sex, all the time. Yup, just like men. The reason why we don’t have as much as men do is simply the work that must be put in for us to be sexual. From what we had for dinner all the way down to the song playing in the car on the way home, everything effects whether or not we’re going to have sex with you. Yet women really do have a handful of "buttons" at any man’s disposal; you just have to work them accordingly, and with your own style. Hint: style is key. If you want good things to happen in your bedroom a good rule of thumb is to focus on the five senses of a woman. It really is as simple as taste, smell, see, hear, and feel. Even if one sense is rubbed incorrectly, we’re not saddling up.
Taste: I’m not kidding when I say that what she had for dinner effects her sexual mood. If she happens to have a lot of salt or carbs during her meal she may feel too bloated or lethargic to want to take her clothes off for you. So choosing what to feed her, if that so happens to be the plan for the night, is important. Go for more sensual foods that are both light and fun to enjoy like sushi or fondue. And make sure you share a dessert either at dinner or, even better, at your home. Dessert can scream sex or make her feel like a cow. Get some chocolate covered strawberries and a good dessert wine, or if you’re more casual, any fruit will do as long as it’s fresh and juicy.
Smell: You. Your car. Your pad. Pretty much everywhere she’s going to be should never, ever, ever, smell bad. Not even a little. Women’s sense of smell is better than men’s, so even if you think you’ve covered your bases by lighting a candle, chances are it’s better just to do that last load of laundry in your hamper before you invite her over. You don’t have to be a neat freak either. Being a little disorderly shows character, yet women know the difference between messy and dirty and trust me, it’s a fine line.
See: Of course, this is a given. Yet, some men don’t realize how much a woman sees things. I’m talking everything. The pictures in your wallet, the magazines on your coffee table, the scar on your elbow from little league years ago. Most of the time you don’t even have to show her these things for her to see them. A woman’s attention to detail has made bedding her that much more difficult because she is both absorbing details at high speed and storing them in her brain for later. She may see your sister’s jacket and assume you have a girlfriend or she’ll notice your long fingernails and be instantly over you. So, should you throw out that gross bottle of shampoo you’ve had for 6 months in your shower? Yes. I guarantee she already saw it and thought about doing it herself. Another good point under the sense of sight, eye contact. Nothing will turn a girl on more than looking her right in the eyes when you’re talking to her…or when you’re doing other things to her.
Hear: It’s okay if you’re not a musician, or if you’ve never been approached to do voice over work for video games, but as long as you’re focusing on sounding confident and have at least one good album in your possession then you’re on your way to satisfying more than her ears. Music is a huge weapon in a guy’s arsenal. Even just one song, the right song, and she can become putty in your hands. If you don’t know this girl, don’t automatically go for R&B. It’s just too cheesy. Instead, put something upbeat but sexual, like a good classic rock album (think of the free love era) or some light electro music like Kaskade’s Move for Me. Not that kind of girl? Then go for some good old fashioned Motown: Ray Charles, Diana Ross, Stevie Wonde
r, The Temptations. Hint: anything with a sultry male voice, Sinatra, Michael Buble, Kings of Leon, John Legend will get any girl going.
Feel: I cannot stress enough how important it is to be touching correctly. Sure, sure, you’ve got your “moves.” The same key things you do to get the girl going, right? I’m hoping, however, that you remember to tweak your moves according to the girl you’re with. There are some women that love to be spanked, thrown, and practically punished when getting down whereas others think pulling their hair may be too rough. The rule in this one? Let her lead. When it’s getting to those opening moments of a sex session, she’ll let you know how she wants it simply by doing it to you. If she’s biting you, bite her back or if she’s massaging you slowly and sensually, then do the same for her. Don’t assume all women like it when you do a certain thing. Make a wrong move and please note she won’t hesitate to grab her things and leave.
Hint: start early. Of course, don’t count your chickens before they hatch, but give her clues you want her. Brush the hair out of her eyes, put your hand on the hollow of her back when you’re walking, “accidentally” rub your foot against hers. In a movie? Whisper something in her ear and let your lips and breath linger near her before you pull away. Plus, go for places people are rarely touched, like the inside of her arm, or the back of the neck, or even her knee. These subtle instances will make you seem innocent but will get her blood pumping fiendishly.
I know what you’re thinking, women are more complicated than that, huh? Do you have to be funny and charming and a good kisser, too? Well sure, we like those things, but focusing on our senses allows us to be the center of attention and, in all honesty, we love that the most. Just remember, no matter how coy we act, we know almost right away whether or not we’re going to give you the chance to sleep with us, so if you pass the first impression test and you hit all five targets, we won’t be calling it a night anytime soon.
Photos: Discovery, by Carlo Nicora, flickr.com, 2009
Couple Making Love, by © Emely/zefa/Corbis, flickr.com 2008