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A Conversation with Bought author Anna David

Sex and Relationship expert Anna David

Author Anna David is a professional member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). In addition to being the Sex and Relationship expert on G4's Attack of the Show, she is a prolific writer with articles in such publications as The New York Times, The L.A. Times, Playboy, Details, and Vanity Fair. Bought is her second novel.

 

Mike Parker – You are the Sex and Relationship expert on G4’s Attack of the Show. So, how does one become an expert on Sex and Relationships? I mean, I’ve been married for nearly thirty-five years and I’m still trying to figure out both.

 

Anna David – I was a journalist and I started writing for Playboy magazine about sex and dating. I was already appearing on television when G4 hired me to answer questions about sex and relationships. Most of my answers came from my own experience. I am in recovery. I’ve been eight years sober. I was self-obsessed and crippled by fear. I think this is the human condition but those traits are exacerbated when you are an addict or an alcoholic. Most questions about sex and dating come from that place of fear. As a culture we are afraid to talk about sex, even though we are inundated by it. It’s all over the television, in the magazines, on billboards. I tell people not to be afraid to talk about it. I am earning a degree from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco.

 

Parker – Your new novel, Bought, appears to be a direct result or your research into the world of contemporary courtesans. Why did you choose to present the results of your research in a fictional setting?

 

Anna – It was originally written as a magazine article. I thought about expanding it into non-fiction book, but I couldn’t find the right approach. I like to write what I like to read, so fiction made sense. What is interesting about women who sell themselves is not their everyday life, which is pretty dark and depressing, but rather what society thinks about women and sex. Every woman wrestles with issues of ‘how much do I let a man support me,’ or ‘am I betraying my sex if I let a man open a car door for me;’ all of those things that have to do with using our sexuality to obtain ‘things,’ whatever those things may be.  Those issues affect every woman. I thought a novel about prostitutes would address those issues and help get that conversation going.

 

Parker – Emma, the protagonist of your story who gets pretty caught up in the heady world of the rich and famous, goes all the way to the brink yet ultimately turns her back on it and does the right thing, so to speak. For someone who is involved in that world, how hard is that to do? Is it really even possible?

 

Anna – The novel presents two worlds - the world of Hollywood and the world of being compensated for sex. The world I am personally familiar with is the world of Hollywood, and that world will suck you up into it; it did me. I worshipped at the altar of celebrity. I thought that because I had friends who were celebrities that meant something; that it made me something special. I think cleaning up my act and getting sober helped me realize that celebrity means absolutely nothing. There is nothing special about a celebrity that is not just as special about people who are not famous.

 

I’ve never been personally tempted to sell my self, but I think I have a little more respect for a woman to sells herself, than I do for a trophy wife or the woman who allows herself to be kept. At least the prostitute is being honest.

 

Parker – The whole concept of the modern day courtesan where a woman trades her favors for gifts rather than cash, can appear to have a veneer of respectability, as if it is not really just a fancy word for prostitute. But you contend that when a woman uses her sex appeal to get what she wants it inevitably does more harm than good.

 

Anna – That is my personal experience. When you are writing fiction you have to relate to your characters. I inherently relate to the journalist, Emma. But what surprised me is how much I started to relate to the prostitute, Jessica. I had to be honest with myself about how I have used my sexuality to get what I want - from smiling at the cop to get out of a ticket or accepting a free cup of coffee.

 

In my career I used to have male agents who would say things like, ‘You are so talented. Let’s talk about it over drinks.’ I knew that was a thin line to walk, but I also knew that I could use that to advance my career. But every single time - not 40% of the time, not 60% of the time – 100% of the time it backfired. I would pretend I had the power in that situation, but that is a lie. I address that in the novel, Bought. Jessica, the courtesan, tends to believe she is in control, but you see how she falls apart anytime she is confronted with the idea that her career choice is anything less than respectable. She has no power. It is all a façade.

 

Parker – In Bought, the amount of money involved is astronomical. How close to the truth is that?

 

Anna – I think if anything the amounts were diminished in the book. I knew of girls who were making $100K per night. That’s what shocked me about doing that story. There were men, not a lot but a few, who had so much money they did not know what to do with it.

 

Parker – Studies show that people who are involved in long term, loving, monogamous marital relationships have more frequent and more satisfying sex lives than those who are not. In Bought, I didn’t find a single happily married couple. As a matter of fact, the whole concept of marriage was pretty much held in derision, at least by the protagonist, Emma. Why is that?

 

Anna – I’m not married and I do believe I have a somewhat cynical view of marriage based on what I’ve seen. I’m not saying there are no happy marriages in LA, but I’d bet there are more happy marriages where you live. LA is almost a character in the book, and I think it is somewhat an accurate representation of the marriages I’ve observed there. People don’t go to LA in order to find a happy marriage. They go there for power and glamour.

 

 

1. What’s your favorite sound?

Anna – My cat purring.

 

2. What makes you happy?

Anna – Being relaxed and around people I love.

 

3. What makes you angry?

Anna – People lying. People pretending they are going to do something they have no intention of doing.

 

4. What is the secret of success?

Anna – Remembering that it’s the journey and not the destination. Knowing that if you are too goal focused, every time you get what you want, you will just want something else.

 

5. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, living or dead, who would it be?

Anna – F. Scott Fitzgerald.

 

6. What is the epitaph that is written on your tombstone?

Anna – “She felt things deeply.”

 

7. When you get to heaven, what is the first thing you want to hear God say to you?

Anna – Congratulations on surviving. Now’s the time to have fun.

 

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