Non-custodial parents are parents too: Resources for non-residential moms and dads

April 27, 10:43 AMSingle Parenting ExaminerBarbara Thompson

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I recently had a conversation with an old friend about the statistics on single parents in the US.  According to the US Census Bureau's latest numbers, there are approximately 11 million single mothers in the US and approximately 2 million single fathers.  My friend jokingly asked "How does that work out?  Doesn't it take one of each?" 

The Census Bureau defines a single parent as a parent who is living with a child without the other parent in the household.  Their definition includes parents who are married but not living together, parents who are married to someone other than the child's other parent, parents who are divorced or separated, and parents who are widowed.  They do not include non-custodial parents in their numbers.

The trend in most parts of the US right now is to grant joint custody in a divorce unless there are extenuating circumstances.  Visitation schedules and co-parenting plans still vary widely from case to case.  For the sake of the children, it is important for everyone involved to remember that non-custodial parents are parents too. 

Non-custodial or non-residential parents have their own issues and concerns that in some cases are very different from custodial parents.  Unfortunately, while there are lots of resources for single parents, it may be hard for non-custodial parents to find support, advice, and role models.  Here are some resources that are geared toward non-residential parents:

• Involved Non-custodial Parents: Tips for strengthening your bond even while you are apart from one another
• Building Strong Single Parent Families (PDF): There are many kinds of families, but regardless of the arrangement, loving, supportive families seem to share certain characteristics.  This publication lists characteristics of successful single-parent families and offers ideas on how to strengthen any family.
• Non-Residential Parenting (PDF): This publication gives information to help both parents remain involved in their child's life after divorce. It lists ideas to help non-residential parents maintain a strong relationship with their child, gives tips on how both parents can cooperate for their child's sake, and gives resources for coping with guilt.
• Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents' Rights : The ANCPR is a non-profit organization that helps non-custodial parents prepare for, and protect their rights in, family court. Specifically, The ANCPR helps non-custodial parents with the issues of child support, visitation and child custody.
• American Coalition for Fathers and Children: The ACFC is a non-profit organization in support of shared parenting. The ACFC works closely with pro-family and civil liberties groups throughout the country in an effort to promote equal rights for both parents in the courts and in family law legislation. They also work to raise public awareness regarding children's need for both parents.
• Children's Rights Council: The CRC is an organization that supports the active involvement of both parents in a child's life. The CRC serves in the interest of children, promoting shared parenting, education, mediation, and a tri-fold support network made up of financial, emotional, and physical support.