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Top 6: best video game titles
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The title of a game, like the title of anything, is meant to draw the consumer in, to give them a first glance at what they're buying. When it comes to video games, a few titles are intriguing and informative, most are generic, and a few are utterly worthless. Today, we'll take a look at some of the better ones.
6. Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem (GC)
If this list was the six most melodramatic video game titles, this survival-horror gem would certainly be right at the top. Somehow, it manages to pack more purple prose into four words than Ann Rice can cram into a 400-page novel. Seriously, try reading this title out loud with the hammiest, most over-the- top delivery you can muster. Go ahead, try it. Sounded perfect, didn't it?
So I think we can all agree it would take one hell of a twisted game to keep up with at title like that, and luckily the good people at Silicon Knights did an exemplary job, throwing in all kinds of crazy hallucinations and zombies and demons and whatnot. I almost wonder if the title was chosen as a sort of challenge to the development team, to see if they could ever make a game that could live up to it. If that's what happened, it's a strategy that ought to be repeated, because the game is one of the best on the Gamecube and possibly the best "M" rated game on a Nintendo console. Not that that's saying much.
5. Alone in the Dark (PC)
The great thing about a title like Alone in the Dark is that means something different to everyone. After all, the dark is where all of the sinister, unwholesome denizens of our imagination dwell. It's a place where even the most logical of human beings can be driven to the brink of insanity by the uncertainty of their surroundings, and the nagging doubt that they'll ever see the light again; that they'll be trapped in an awful nothingness with the phantasmagoric spawn of their own distorted minds until end of time. In other words, being alone in the dark is totally spooky, and if you're going to make a totally spooky game it's a good title to go with.
4. Killzone (PS2)
"So, uh, where are we goin', Bill?"
"Oh, you, know... some zone."
"Oh. That's nice. Which, uh... which zone?"
"The.... KILL ZOOOOONNNNNNNNNN-UH" (Twisted laughter)
3. Destroy All Humans! (PS2)
Let me tell you something: after working a 12-hour night shift at a 7-Eleven, there's no video game title which makes me nod my head in agreement like Destroy All Humans! If a little alien with a laser does the job for me, as he does in the game, that's perfectly fine. A comet would work, too. Or that supervirus from The Stand. Or the sun crashing into the Earth. Whatever. The point is, we don't have any Parliaments, and they won't be in until Monday, and no, there aren't any behind the counter. Go away.
2. A Boy And His Blob: Trouble On Blobolonia (NES)
One of the most identifiable and emotionally stirring titles in the history of mankind. Surely none of us (at least the ones carrying that useless Y chromosome) can deny the gentle pulling at the heart strings that must occur when our eyes fall upon such a title. One is inevitably flooded with recollections of an idyllic childhood spent traveling around with their own pile of white, amorphous goo, feeding it jelly beans and solving dilemmas on the proud planet of Blobolonia, a planet whose pastoral countryside, even now, holds a place in the most hallowed chambers of one's memory. Truly, those were the halcyon days. (Sniff)
1. Incredible Crisis (PS1)
An absolutely perfect title, and I say that with no irony whatsoever. No two words could better sum up this chaotic and extremely Japanese collection of mini-games than "incredible" ("too extraordinary and improbable to be believed") and "crisis" ("...an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs.") When you've got giant spiders, UFO invasions, plummeting elevators, runaway gurneys, bank robberies, erotic back massages, and a cheap Dance Dance Revolution knock-off all going on in the same game, I for one would certainly classify that as a crisis... and an incredible one, at that.
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- Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)
- System Shock 2 (PC)
- Secret of Mana (SNES)
- Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (PC)
- Rock Band / Rock Band 2 (Multi-Console)
- Grim Fandango (PC)
- Day of Defeat (PC)
- Shadow of the Colossus (PS2)
- Skies of Arcadia (DC)
- Sunset Riders (SNES)
