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Horror houses, could you unload these cursed dwellings in a bad economy?
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The Amityville Horror for sale
We all know the housing crisis has taken victims left and right in a financial slaughter unseen in a couple of decades. Even as I write this, there's a "for sale" sign outside my townhome community that has been sitting there for 3 months and the price has been lowered by 20,000, which isn't going to bode well for me if I get an appraisal on my own home anytime soon.l
If you think selling a home into this market is crazy, and I do--wait it out for god's sakes--think about how hard it would be to sell the homes involved in murders, ghost sightings, exorcisms, and all out family slaughters. I'm talking about the homes found in horror movies. We love to be scared by the featured abodes, but would we ever buy such homes? And what kind of fear discount could we get on the asking price?
Amityville is a good place to start. It began in 1974 with parents Ronald and Louise DeFoe being shot where they slept. In addition, their two sons and daughters were killed. Blood ran throughout the Amityville home that night.
Six family members dead leaving the seventh one to be convicted for the murders. It was Ronald Jr., (lovingly known as "Butch") who was responsible for the crime. He was put in prison and the house went up for sale.
Obviously the price was good because the Lutzes purchased it. According to them, the Amityville house of their dreams turned into their nightmare. They claimed that the demons that had driven poor Butch to murder (he had no will of his own I guess) were tormenting them with slime, flies and a creepy voice that said, "Get out!"
You might think the Lutzes were cursed because of the house, nothing could be further from the truth. That house made them rich. A book deal penned by professional writer Jay Anson, a movie deal starring James Brolin and Margot Kidder and plenty of interviews from the media--you could not have asked for a sweeter set up.
Unfortunately the Amityville Horror was a hoax. Researchers and authors investigating the claims of the Lutzes and Jay Anson's book have found numerous inconsistencies and factual errors to the point where even if you do believe in demons and ghosts you would have to question the veracity of their story.
The ultimate proof though is this house sold! And no demon sightings or continued hauntings. The new owners were forced to change the look of their home to thwart tourists from finding it.
Now going back to the Amityville Horror film, we're dabbling in the horror fiction of movies so we'll treat Amityville as such. If you were a buyer entering a home that looked like it had a pair of eyes because of the window placement, how would you react?
Then if the real estate agent, an honest one (oh, that's fiction too) gave you full disclosure on the horror home history from the DeFoe murders to the Lutz hauntings would you run away screaming or would you do like I would?
"So, it sounds like there's a lot wrong with the house. I'll give you 90,000 for it and take it off your hands." Yes, that would be me. I don't give a damn if it was involved in murder or especially demon sightings. I say take advantage of the fear and get a deep discount.
Norman Bates wants you to buy his home
"Mother! What have you done, mother!"
There's some holes in the wall, a little blood on the carpet, the stairs might have some damage from the bodies that tumbled down them and the cellar may need cleaning. It's the Bate's place. Old but quaint and it even comes with a sleazy motel.
Would you buy it knowing what Norman, or rather what Norman's mother speaking in his head, had done?
In an economy like this, a California home with a murder rap could be a huge bargain. Prices already dropped dramatically in the suffering state. Think what you could offer Norman for his home. It's doubtful he would ever want to sell, except! In Psycho 4 he has moved on to a new residence and therefore chances are you might be able to wrestle away the note on the home with a decent offer.
I think with a little plaster of paris to cover up all of the peep holes, some stain remover for the carpet and a reminder to throw out all of the poisoned tea still left in the cupboards, the Norman Bates place could be turned into quite a charming home. You could even move in your mother.
As for the motel, it's there for the smart and savvy business owner to make a couple of bucks on the side. Imagine the tourist attraction of staying in the same room where Marion Crane was brutally knifed. You wouldn't sleep all night, but it would be a hell of a lot of fun.
It's a very large, affordable home
Richard Matheson, known for writing "I Am Legend" which recently starred Will Smith in a film version, also wrote The Legend of Hell House and then adapted it for the big screen. It features The Belasco Estate, a home fit for kings and queens and beyond the price range of average shmoes like myself. But, considering that the ghostly inhabitants keep taking lives and driving psychics mad, maybe the owners would knock off a couple million.
Besides, it could invigorate the lovelife of any couple taking up residence. Remember Ann Barrett coming down the stairs and showing her "passion" to the startled Benjamin Fischer, psychic survivor of the last investigation of Hell House? He slapped her--a sure sign that Fischer was gay, a further clue is that we know Roddy McDowell who plays Fischer was also gay--so she was barking up the wrong tree. The sex starved ghost that possessed her is still there I bet. "Come inside me," may have two different meanings in Hell House.
Another home normally out of our price range is from the original "The Haunting" based on the book by Shirley Jackson. On sale would be "Hill House," which sounds much like "Hell House." I don't know, could Richard Matheson have written a knock-off of, er, was inspired by Shirley Jackson's writing?
Again we have psychic investigators trying to discover who did what and why the unseen inhabitants are unhappy. If you purchased the deed you could skip the exorcist and simply bring in a lawyer to explain to the ghosts that they are trespassing. Most lawyers are pretty scary so I think the ghosts would finally move out. Don't bring in The Ghost Whisperer, all the guy ghosts will just want to stare at her cleavage.
Still, even if you did have to share the place--it's huge! If nobody wants it because of its reputation I say bid a couple hundred thousand and set yourself up a nice place to raise a family.
What can ghosts do anyways? Make a little noise? Ignore them, they'll get bored and you'll have a home you can show off to your friends and family members who thought you would end up in a trailer park.
I'm telling you, there are deals to be had with horror homes. One recently popped up with a" Haunting in Connecticut, " the home from "House" (not the medical TV series, the one with William Katt) could be a fixer-upper, there's the "House on Haunted Hill" (Vincent Price would make a great real estate agent, don't you think?), and the house from "Poltergeist" was demolished but I'm sure the surrounding cookie cutter homes were tainted by the incident which may discount them.
Who knows, your next home could be your next movie deal.
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