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Another one bites the dust
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Ahn "Joseph" Cao, first Vietnamese-American congressman
It should be emphatically noted, since the story seems to be flying under the radar, that the voters of New Orleans and Louisiana's 2nd Congressional district on Saturday (the vote was postponed due to Hurricane Gustav) elected Ahn "Joseph" Cao, a Republican, as the first Vietnamese-American United States Congressional Representative, thus ousting from public office one William Jefferson, an obviously corrupt buffoon and one of the reptilian symbols of the infamous 109th Congress. Louisiana politics being what they are, Jefferson has not yet been tried for his crimes, but the faithful among us still believe that he will one day be shipped off to prison for a federally mandated routine of weightlifting and bible study.
In the summer of 2005, Jefferson was videotaped by the FBI receiving $100,000 worth of bribes from iGate Inc. in the Arlington Ritz Carlton. A few days later his home was raided by the feds, who found $90,000 in cash stuffed into frozen food containers in his freezer. In 2006, Karen Carter, an honorable woman serving in Louisiana's House of Representatives and a fellow Democrat, challenged Jefferson's seat, as well as his basic legitimacy. Her campaign was a long, sad story that is not worth delving into on this happy day, but it can be boiled down to this: Carter takes on obvious criminal, Carter goes after powerful sheriff in Spike Lee documentary, said sheriff sends out mailers connecting Carter to gay marriage, Carter loses. Ugh.
The 109th, or, Caligula Congress (2005-2007) represented the most shameful period in the history of our legislative branch. So many of them buckled up and settled in for an endless ride filled with golfing trips to Ireland, box seats at Redskin games and helicopter arrivals at Indian casinos that ethics advocates became dizzy. Mark Twain once wrote that "there is no native criminal class except Congress," and during the Caligula Congress, that line became less and less funny as it became more and more true. Dick Cavett recently wrote of John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin that McCain "aimed low and missed." Well, these guys aimed low and hit their marks. Over and over and over. They were on their way to turning the greatest democracy in the history of the world into a debt-laden banana republic before many of them were thrown out in 2006 and later, in 2008. There are so many disgraced names that they're almost not worth mentioning. Almost.
Tom Delay. Dennis Hastert. Bob Ney. Richard Pombo. Curt Weldon. Billy Tauzin. Katherine Harris. Tom Feeney. Ted Stevens. Vito Fossella. John Doolittle. Bill Thomas. Pete Domenici. Duke Cunningham. Duke, Duke, Duke.
Duke Cunningham was, no joke, America's chairman of the House Subcommittee on Human Intelligence Analysis and Counterintelligence. Intelligence! Check out these excerpts from a demented letter written from cellblock by the convicted criminal Cunningham to Marcus Stern, the reporter that helped expose him. Warning: for fear that they may be the least bit influenced, small children should not read this severe manipulation and deep misunderstanding of the English language:
"Each time you print it hurts my family. And now I have lost them Along with Everything I have worked for during my 64 years of life. I am human not an Animal to keep whiping. I made some decissions Ill be sorry for the rest of my life. As truth will come out and you will find out how liablest you have & will be. Not once did you list the positives. Education Man of the Year...hospital funding, jobs, Hiway funding, border security, Megans law my bill, Tuna Dolfin my bill...and every time you wanted an expert on the wars who did you call. No Marcus you write About how I died."
Hilarious. "I am human not an Animal to keep whiping." Duke Cunningham's misuse of our native tongue makes you want to run to your nearest taco stand and hug an illegal immigrant. William Jefferson was a part of this crowd, and now he joins them in the gallows. Jerry Lewis, Gary Miller, Alan Mollohan, Joe Barton, and Pete Sessions - you're next.
I first started writing about politics two years ago, and it didn't last very long. I wrote a piece about political action committees, another about the 2006 midterms, and then I wrote about Karen Carter's failed bid for William Jefferson's seat. That one screwed me up. After delving into that story, I was convinced that the politics of George W. Bush, Karl Rove and Tom Delay had so thoroughly defeated American voters that all hope was lost. I mean... William Jefferson had just been reelected. What was I supposed to think?
I couldn't make myself care anymore, and I quit writing. But something has happened between then and now in this country, something that cannot be comprehended or codified, at least not by me. William Jefferson just got beat by an honest Republican. In New Orleans. If you'll forgive my southern roots for a moment, that's a big deal, ya'll. Oh, and that sheriff who vilified Karen Carter? Yeah, he's not around anymore, either. So I win.
Oh, and Willie? Now that you're not a congressman anymore, be on the lookout for process servers. And have fun in jail.
