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Driver's License, Russian Style
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In Russia, there are two ways to get a driver’s license. You can bribe the road test examiner, not have to take the test and get your license anyway. Or you can take lessons, learn how to drive and take the test…and pay the road test examiner his bribe and get your license.
While driver exams vary widely in the United States with the ability to parallel park seemingly taking precedence over actual road skills, most fall short of what appears to be an intensive procedure in Russia, with lectures and driving instructions, written tests and several driving tests.
But difficulty of appearance is as far as it goes in Russia, at least according to an article…with no byline…in the Moscow News.
“Disgruntled, I realized that regardless of how many times I would take the test the result would be the same, and that every re-examination would cost me. I finally gave in: I forked over my 1,500 rubles (60 USD) and got a stamped scrap of paper saying I'd passed.”
And that was only the first step.
Despite a determination to get a bribe-free driver’s license, the anonymous author slipped 12,000 rubles (480 USD) into an envelope with her particulars written on it. She learned how much “help” such a friendly gesture can bring:
“During my epiphany, I ignored the hand brake, forgot to check my rear- and side-view mirrors, and made other obvious mistakes that would in any other circumstances have given the examiner enough reasons to fail me on the spot. Instead, the examiner by my side took care of the hand brake for me, and essentially guided me for the first 5 seconds. I was trembling a little by this stage, suddenly forgetting which gear to use for which speed, and let the car roll steadily down the middle of the road. 100 meters later the examiner told me to get out and come back for my license the next morning. And so I did.”
As perfunctory as American driver’s licensing may seen, particularly in comparison to the reportedly Prussian rigor of the German licensing procedure, nowhere is it the pure corruption of the Russian system.
If there’s a lesson in this, perhaps—considering the possibly unschooled Rooskie drivers—it’s to avoid driving in Russia. Or even walking on the sidewalks.
For bribe-free new car reviews, visit John Matras' carbuzzard.com.
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