Whitney Casey's 'The Man Plan' and Steve Harvey's 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man'

January 6, 5:17 PMBook ExaminerMichelle Kerns

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Back in the day, every woman's favorite blood sport -- man hunting -- involved exquisite and elaborate attention to dress, makeup, and hair; carefully moderating every aspect of  conversation and lifestyle to appeal to the targeted prey; and preparing a three-course meal, complete with a Baked Alaska dessert, for dinner. Things are different now, of course: no one bothers with the three-course dinner.

Whitney Casey's The Man Plan: Drive Men Wild -- Not Away and Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man are the newest and most popular manifestations of the ever-burgeoning ladies' hunting guide genre. Both advocate getting into the guy's brain as the key to getting and keeping the man you want.

The Man Plan focuses on detailing all of the little things that women do that can turn a prospective guy off for good, from the pictures she has next to her bed to how she orders wine at a restaurant, to how she eats bread, to how often she shaves.

Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man is written from a refreshingly male perpective and gives women the nitty gritty on the foreign male brain with to-the-point advice: the five questions every woman should ask to determine how serious her man is; when to introduce the kids; implementing the Ninety Day Rule for your new gent.

I find these books slightly puzzling and a bit depressing. So is this where our enlightened and progressive culture has led us -- to the point that relationship books warn us not to put floral sheets on our bed else we may lose the man of our dreams? That men are alledgedly so ridiculously simple-minded that adhering to a brief checklist of dos and don'ts can fool them? Where is the advice on finding someone with matching beliefs (particularly about marriage and monogamy), aspirations, goals, and ideals -- or doesn't anyone have those anymore?

Sure, we may scoff at the mores and restrictions of ye olden days (and don't get me wrong,  it doesn't take sobbing for an hour over Tess of the d'Urbervilles to figure out there was a hell of a lot of cock-eyed stuff going on in the good old days) but, for crying out loud, at least they didn't distill the finding of a mate down to the lingerie you own.

 

If you've ever cast an eye upon ladies' relationship advice books from the past, you'll see that , sure, they include information about looking your best, but the bulk of their advice centers on making your gentleman feel loved and important by being mindful and considerate of his interests and ideas, from politics to business to sex. That sounds like solid advice to me. What those books did not do is try to distill the highly complicated matter of human relationships into a one-size-fits all 10 step plan.

If you use one of these relationship books to find the man of dreams, more power to you. I sincerely hope that happens. However, I also sincerely hope that, in a world where we are constantly pursuing newer, better ways to do everything from producing alternative energy to being sensitive to other cultures, we don't let some of the old-fashioned ideas about what makes a good relationship -- and how to find one -- regress into something unrecognizably awful.