Vibrator? Check. Lubricant? Check. Incense? Check. C*** ring? Check.
This may sound like a suggested newlywed’s list for What To Pack on Your Honeymoon; it is, however, only an excerpt of the paraphernalia Douglas and Annie Brown utilized on their 101 day sex extravaganza detailed in Douglas Brown’s Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!)
I know what you’re thinking—right, who are these people, hot 18 year olds? Probably with no job, no kids, no hang-ups of any kind. Certainly no responsibilities or, God forbid, any stress. You’d be wrong there. The Browns are in their early forties, both working, and with two young, rambunctious daughters. And their 101 day sex odyssey forged on despite everything from illness to arguments to long, irritating days at work.
After fourteen years together, sex, Brown writes, “had turned into a mere adequacy…Careers and age shifted our end-of-the-day enthusiasms from carnal athletics to pulling sheets to shoulders and whispering ‘good night’…more than three years after the birth of our second daughter, we did it about once a week, if we were lucky.”
Sound familiar? So how did these two go from a once-a-week fling to 101 consecutive romps between the sheets? Believe it or not, it was NOT Douglas’ idea—it was Annie’s. After hearing about how men in Denmark who have not had sex in a hundred or more days form clubs to bond over their lack of loving (Note to Single Women: book a flight to Denmark immediately), Annie suggested that she and Douglas form their own exclusive “sex-club” and have sex for one hundred consecutive days.
After some initial purchasing of massage oils, candles, libido enhancing herbal supplements, books with titles like The Yin Yang Butterfly: Ancient Chinese Sexual Secrets for Western Lovers, redecorating their bedroom as a “sex den” (removing all pictures of kids, family, and relatives; purchasing sexy lights and bed accessories; stocking up on candles, incense and CDs like Tantric Music; installing a child-proof lock on the door) and plenty of high-quality lubricant, Douglas and Annie were off. Come Hell, high water, head colds, fussy, night-wandering little preschool aged girls, and just plain fatigue, the two succeeded in getting it on every day (sometimes at night, sometimes in the morning, a few times in the afternoon) for 101 days. They experimented with everything from pornography (either a disappointment or hilariously ridiculous they decided) to bullet vibrators, to feathers, to unusual positions, to sex instructional videos, to Viagra and Cialis.
Sometimes everything clicked and the sex was great. Other times, getting it on was a mere act of will, a let’s-get-this-over-with-and-get-to-sleep-as-fast-as-possible challenge. However, by the end of the 101 days, both Douglas and Annie felt like their marriage had grown in ways they wouldn’t have dreamed possible. They touched more. They felt more in sync with one another’s feelings. “I feel closer to you than I have in years,” Annie told Douglas, “and that’s saying something, because it’s not like we exactly drifted away from each other.” Regular sex went from being “some sort of monumental event” to being a huge part of their lives; it put “muscle” into their already strong relationship.
Daily sex made both feel sexier than they had in years. Since they were now going out of their way to be more alluring to each other, they paid more attention to their health and physical appearance: Annie got a Brazilian wax job and wore lower cut tops; Douglas worked out and even attended yoga classes. Having more sex made them feel closer to each other which increased their communication; and greater communication made the sex even better. Do you see the connection here?
There is a lot of talk nowadays about communication in marriage and how important it is. Of course, that’s true, but those advice columns almost always focus exclusively on verbal communication. Talking candidly to your spouse is incredibly important, but what about the physical side of things? True communication between a husband and wife is not just verbal and emotional, it’s physical too. Take care of each of these and you’ll be well on your way to celebrating a golden wedding anniversary.
Take a look at Just Do It on amazon.com