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Dr. Leslie’s top 10 tips : keeping kids safe online
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Photo courtesty of ShapingYouth.com
1. Understand the dangers. Many parents were shocked to recently learn the stiff laws against minors and “sexting”, some not understanding the severity until it was too late. Before you can help your kids stay safe online, you need to understand what you’re keeping them safe from. Parents need to change the way they think about pornography and sexuality as they pertain to children. Educate yourself on the legal issues behind kids and sexuality. These laws were set in place based on therapeutic and federal guidelines as to when children can and cannot have sex or participate in sexual displays and behavior.
2. No child is entitled to modern luxuries. Privileges such as cell phones, driving, recreational computer use, video games, and TV should all be offered based on good behavior. Even if a teen makes their own money, you have the right to full knowledge of their spending habits. Keep tabs on ATM histories and read your teens’ billing statements to make sure they are not subscribing to or creating unauthorized websites. It’s not their right, nor is it a negotiation. You’re the boss!
3. Children must be given permission to open any social networking account. Be sure to have an open and honest dialogue with your child about their intentions and expectations in social networking. This will give you great insight into where your child stands in their social development. Are they joining a social networking site to fit in with the cool kids? Are they lonely and looking for friends? Are they a follower or a leader? Get an idea of what your child wants to share and set rules in place for appropriate use. Even further, you should sit with them as they set up their account, giving you full access to their passwords and control over what your child posts publically.
4. Help your kids avoid the social isolation caused by social networking. Social networking should never replace quality face-to-face time with others. Interacting with their peers is an integral process in their social development. Encourage your kids to be socially active with free sports leagues at your local park, Girl or Boy Scouts, or neighborhood play dates. Invest in a pair of rollerblades or bicycle. It may seem expensive at first but the long-term value will far exceed the initial cost.
5. Just as a landlord has the right to inspect the premises, so do you! Parent need to be parents now more than ever. If your children live under your roof, you have every right to monitor their behavior. Keep a close watch on your child’s social networking, games, cell phone and internet activity, cars and even their diaries. Their cell phones and computers are not their private property and should be used according to your rules.
6. Take advantage of parental control technologies. Software such as Net Nanny, Safe Eyes, and CYBERSitter, make it easy to fully manage your family’s internet use and capabilities. Set daily time limits, predator blocking, chat monitoring and blocking, peer-to-peer allowances and receive activity reports. It’s easy to protect your child from online predators when you know exactly what they’re up to.
7. No computers in the bedroom! Children under 18 should only be allowed to use computers that are in a common area of your home that you can monitor. If for some reason this is not possible, be sure to enforce guidelines. Make it clear which types of sites are forbidden and regularly check their computer’s internet history. Webcams should never be used while children are unsupervised. In fact, try to avoid buying a computer with a Webcam altogether. Bedrooms doors should be open if kids are on the phone, using a computer, or have friends over.
8. Keep cell phone use to an absolute minimum. No child needs a camera on their phone or unlimited access to text messaging or social networking. Buy a limited number of minutes for kids’ phones and create a contract with your child as to how and how often they may use it. Some providers offer parental control programs, such as the AT&T Smart Limits for Wireless, which helps parents limit talk time and hours of use, block unwanted communication, or set allowances.
9. Your child learns by your example. Are you constantly emailing or texting? Your kids will too. If you lie around and watch TV for hours on end, so will your kids. If you avoid verbal communication and aren’t socializing, your children will learn the same isolated behavior. Make sure to be a role model and show your children the importance of being socially active. Set rules in place for the entire family. In order for anyone, even you, to be allowed internet or social networking time, they must earn it. Want more minutes on your cell phone? Spend equal time on a family bike ride. Want an hour online? Earn it by reading for an hour. You can even pick the same book for the entire family – instant book club!
10. Pictures really do tell a thousand words. Keep a sharp eye on your child’s social networking activity. Look out for beer cans, bongs, or anything out of the ordinary in the backgrounds of pictures. Make sure nothing that can be seen as sexual or inappropriate is posted. Make sure your children avoid posting telling details. A picture in front of your house may display your address, making your child an easy target for a pedophile. Predators even pay attention to such details as bedroom colors, stuffed animals, or band posters so they may pretend to have something in common with their intended victims. Be vigilant!
Make it an Excuse Free Life!
Dr. Leslie Seppinni, Psychotherapist
For more info: Visit www.ExcuseFree.com and www.DrLeslieToday.com
