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The Foulest Turkey Cars For Thanksgiving
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In honor of Thanksgiving, I thought it would be a great idea to look back on some cars that despite their manufacturer's best intentions turned out to be "turkeys". Perhaps the most famous "turkey" car ever built in America was the Ford Edsel. It is said that Ford's promotion department was partly to blame for lifting public expectations so high on what was just an average car with a very strange new grill. Other critics said that it was that grill that turned America off because it might have resembled a certain part of the female anatomy. Whatever the reason, the Edsel was a huge sales flop for Ford.
As a fan of the Infiniti, I found it interesting that the J-30 which to American consumers was a luxurious car with an interesting shape was considered offensive in its home country of Japan. Apparently the rounded trunk section of the car is interpreted to be obscene by the Japanese public. I guess this is why most Japanese cars are square! No controversy with a square car!
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When the Yugo came to America in the 80's I actually enjoyed the car. I would often get to drive them around the block at my family's car stereo shop. To me any car with a manual transmission was loads of fun, but apparently the US car buying public didn't share my enthusiasm for the Yugo. The Yugo was marketed in America to be the next Beetle, and at $3990 it was the cheapest car in US at that time. The car failed to live up to the marketing team's claim of reliability and even the Yugo convertible turned out to be a turkey in the sales department!
My dad had a Corvair, and the car has legions of fans to this day. I think history only shows it to be a turkey because of Ralph Nader. His book "Unsafe at Any Speed" turned the publics opinion on what is basically an American true four seater version of the Porsche 911.
Most people in the US don't realize that if you are motoring through a turn with the throttle down and then you all of the sudden panic, and lift off quickly, well your rear engined, rear wheel drive car is going for a spin whether its a Renault 5 Turbo, a Beetle, a Porsche 911, or a Corvair! Obviously, the Corvair was too much for a country who's citizens are likely to try to sue other people when they spill hot coffee on themselves!
Another turkey car that I remember quite well from my early driving experiences is the Ford Pinto. Again, I thought it was a great car, because any car that your brother lets you steer is awesome! Of course I look back with equal fondness on the memory of the Pinto exploding in the movie "Top Secret". In the movie, the Pinto is not rear-ended, but just tapped (indicated by the sound of a tiny bell) after which a colossal explosion is sparked. Truly a hilarious moment in film! But the reality of the situation was that the Ford Pinto did often explode in rear-end collisions, and thus it is indeed a real turkey of a car.
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The AMC Pacer will always occupy a high place in cult history because of Wayne and Garth's performance of Queen's anthem "Bohemian Rhapsody". I'll always remember going to lunch during high school in my friend Meredith's Pacer. Of course it was ill-conceived from the get go, as it was a rolling fishbowl just waiting to burst and shatter everyone within a city block with chards of glass and debris upon impact! Apparently it was also an early greenhouse experiment for the driver and passengers who were unfortunate enough to be in the Pacer on a hot, sunny summer day!
We were always a Cadillac family. Between my dad and my two uncles and my grandfather, I can remember at least 5 Cadillac Convertibles owned between them over the years. Our family car was a turquoise 1970 Cadillac Coupe DeVille Convertible with white leather interior. These were great if not a bit over-the-top cars that epitomized the Cadillac lure. So naturally when Cadillac tried to introduce an entry level model base on the J-platform sedans like the Chevy Cavalier, they had an instant turkey on their hands! Cadillac soon learned that it takes more than adding leather interior and power windows to a Chevy to make a true Cadillac!
The first time I saw a Pontiac Aztek, I thought that it must be a joke! How could that shape make it through a committee of auto executives and on to the unfortunate American public! I'm thinking that the reason it lasted through a four year production run from 2001 - 2005 is the "it's so ugly it's cute mentality"! This is the same reason that Boxers are so beloved by their owners!
Now I realize that just because a car may have a few inherent mechanical flaws, or that it just may be aesthetically unpleasing to most observers, that doesn't mean that someone out there doesn't love it. After all one man's trash is certainly another man's treasure, so please don't be offended by my list if you happen to own one of these turkeys (I mean cars)! So from Drivin' Ivan and all of us here at examiner.com, have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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