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Dear Parent or Guardian . . .
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Dear Parent or Guardian:
Hello. I am your child’s teacher. I provided my email and mobile phone number on the syllabus, but in case you did not see it, I am writing you to establish a relationship for this upcoming school year. I look forward to teaching your child and really hope your child looks forward to learning a lot about the subject. This is going to be a great year!
To start the year off right, can you please visit me during the first quarter? Back-to-School Night would be preferable. If you cannot make this date, the next best time to visit is immediately after the progress reports. If you cannot come in during that time, it would be good if you would come in during the second quarter, right after you receive your child's first quarter grade.
The absolute worst time to make a first-time visit is during the last quarter of the school year. At that point, it is too late for me to “do something” for your child. FYI, teachers are generally unhappy about eleventh-hour, first-time visits because it appears that parents who come in at the end of the school year are really not visiting for the best interest of the child but rather because they want us to make an exception of some sort, bend some rule or assign some extra work so their children can pass. I am sure you are not like that at all.
These last-quarter parent-saves-the-day performances, while exciting and dramatic for the child, create an unrealistic soap opera-style distraction to real-life responsibility. Therefore, I will not participate in the show. So, I just wanted to send a letter to everyone in the beginning of the school year to inform them that I will not be making any exceptions or giving any extra work (that I have to end up grading) if the first time I see that parent is during the finale of the year—when it is too late for the child to put in reasonable effort to pass. But, I am certain that you would never do this. If, by some chance, a parent would be so selfish, this is for that parent. Not you.
Report Cards: Amazingly, despite having participated in mandatory schooling in this country, some parents do not know this perennial fact: each quarter, you will receive two grade reports concerning your child—a progress report and a quarter grade. If you do not receive the grades, something is wrong; please come in. Perhaps the report slipped out of your mail carrier’s sac.
Despite the grade you see (whether it is an A or an F), it is good for you to come in and speak to me anyway. It is best practice that parents and teachers make contact and establish their own relationship to avoid any miscommunication and communicate expectations for the student concerned. During that time, we will discuss my syllabus, attendance, our major exams, homework, study habits, perspectives, your expectations about mobile phones in class, and any other individual things I need to know about your child for her/him to have a successful year.
About Perspectives: Last year, a parent called me highly emotional and downright rude. Her angelic son told her that, among other reasons for him failing, I accused him of cheating. When I said that his claim was not true, she exclaimed, “Are you calling my son a liar!?” At that, I let her know that I was not her child and was not accustomed to being yelled at by anyone. We set up an appointment with her and her husband, and I demanded that the child be present—to clear up this little miscommunication. While she would never admit that he flat out lied, we all agreed that his information was confused and that he was upset that he was not able to participate in sports because of a single failing grade--in my class. Embarrassed, the parent apologized to me and turned the venom on her son.
Please understand that there are many perspectives to the events that occur between the walls of a class. If ever you hear of me or another teacher saying or doing anything unprofessional, please take the time to come in and clear things up—with your child present. It would be great to see you!
About Attendance: Please only provide a “parent’s note” for emergencies. In the past, I’ve had the displeasure of working with parents who provide an endless supply of “excuses” for questionable absences, which randomly fall on Fridays, Mondays or on the day of an exam or when the project is due. Some of my students who have not been sick (according to their own accounts) have informed me that their parents will occasionally ask them, “You want to stay home?” Or, “Are you going to stay home today?” The parent will then write an “excuse” for the child when s/he returns to school. Despite the counterproductive life-lesson our students learn from these inexcusable excuses, and the apparent lack of appreciation of education and/or school, such allowances make it more difficult for them. Here's why.
No doubt, the insincere note is written with the purpose of providing an “excuse” so the child can make up work. However, when our class is on new work, your child has to catch up, and this presents stress for her/him, and in most cases lead to the student’s misunderstanding of either the new material or the material that she or he missed.
I have no doubt that you would not act as such a bad educational (and consequently, a bad vocational) influence on your child. This section is for those parents who just don’t get it. This year, I trust that all the parents of my students would never abuse their parental power in such a way. No, this is going to be a great year!
About Homework: If your child tells you that I never assign homework, her or his perspective is different from mine. And if your child says that she or he finished the homework in school, please check with me regarding the quality of the work. If your child is organized enough and bright enough to produce quality homework while at school, she or he needs to be praised.
Mobile Phones: It stretches my understanding that parents would call their children during class—and expect to speak to them. When you call, invariably, the student will say, “It’s my mom. I’ve got to take this.” Students have even handed me the phone, saying, “It’s my mom; She wants to talk to you.” I know. It sounds far-fetched. That is why I am writing this; to right this lack of mobile phone etiquette. I never answer my own mobile phone during class. Never. I am a full-time teacher, graduate student, professor, writer, husband, and a parent of two active boys. I have much about which to be concerned, but when I am in class, the mobile phone is verboten.
When my wife was on her way to deliver our first child, I was in school with my mobile phone to my side. However, I do not answer "emergency calls" on my mobile phone during work. I do not even look at my phone to see who is calling while in class. I am at work.
Here is the solution if you have a message so pressing that you must interrupt your child (and the rest of us) during her or his education: Call the school. It’s what my wife did when she was in labor. I was given the call from the main office, and I left to be with her, helped in her delivery and witness the miracle of life. Didn’t miss a thing! It was discreet. It was official. It was simple. And it was not disruptive to everyone else. But, I am sure that you would never do such a tacky thing. Other parents have proven to be so self-important that they would interrupt a class, however, so that is why I am sending this.
But, for your sake, please understand that your child views your call as one would view a call from the president. So, even if you want to tell them something quick or remind them to feed the dog, please wait until after school hours or teach your child to turn off her or his phone during school hours so you can leave a message and it not be a distraction to the rest of us.
About Extra Help: I offer extra help on an as-needed basis. Please have your child set up a time with me, and I will tutor your child after school. Please follow up once a week regarding your child’s progress because other students have set up time with me and have never shown up or have only appeared once, giving their parents the impression that they are receiving on-going coaching. This is another case of mis-perspectives. Maybe the student thought that only one session would change a grade from failing to passing. And maybe she or he thought the parent had the same faith in a single tutoring session. Who knows.
Finally, it is not my intention to add an extra burden on you, but I will really need you to initiate in terms of your child’s education because while you have less than a handful of children in your home, I have about 150 students for whose education I am responsible. And, I really do want to meet your child’s educational needs.
Thank you for reading this. I realize that it is rather detailed, but unfortunately, in the past, I have had a good number of parents come in rather late in the year, exclaiming, “I did not know he was failing. He said he was passing.” Or, “She said she asked for help but that you just ignored her.” I know it sounds crazy. What parent would just take the word of the child in matters so important, right?
In any case, I hope I have communicated the most important theme here: parents-in-contact with teachers is the best recipe for academic success! I look forward to meeting you!
Mr. Grant
P.S. About visiting, if it seems impossible for you to get out of work to meet, please contact me through the school, leaving all the numbers (and email if you have it) where you can be reached. I will contact you!
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