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Give and ye shall receive: the gospel of academic prosperity
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Too many recommendations?
This week, I’ve spoken to teachers overwhelmed by the number of recommendations they are writing for their students (current and past). The teachers I have spoken to say the same thing—they do not want to write all the recommendations for students they are writing.
Okay, I see a trend. On one hand, teachers complain about social promotion and kids that want something for nothing; yet, when it comes to writing recommendations, many teachers abandon life’s most consistent axiom: Give and ye shall receive. While many ministers selfishly use the “gospel of prosperity” (Which is not directly stated in the bible, except for giving to the poor—not to ministers), I think this gospel of prosperity is very appropriate for the classroom.
Quick solution: Stop being conflict-avoiders teachers! Let’s face it, the reason you have so many recommendations to write is because you don’t want to say “no.” Last week, a student strides into my class, all smiles, “Mr. Grant, I was wondering if you can write me a recommendation.” I like this student a lot. Every week, he gives me updates on what is going on in the NFL and has potential to be thee student leader in class. I turned to him, with my intern within earshot, “No way, man. You do not give your heart in here, and you are stinking it up with your grades. What in the world would I write? Take up your game, and I might consider writing it.”
He walked away crestfallen, yet my integrity was intact, and he was “taught” something from his teacher. For a couple of days, he was “mad” at me, but he got over it and volunteered to answer one of the most difficult questions in class on Thursday.
About a year ago, a former student from Baltimore emailed me asking for a recommendation. I emailed her back, stating, “I have to feel good about it before I sign my name to something. You were very inconsistent when you were with me, but you are very bright. If you can send me your transcript so I can see that you have been consistent since I taught you, I will feel better about writing the recommendation for you. As it is, my memory of you is of a bright student who was inconsistent. And, you do not want me writing your recommendation with this memory. Please send your transcript. ” I never heard from her again. I am sure she got some conflict-avoiding teacher to write her milquetoast letter or better, a teacher with whom she was consistent. What is the lesson?
1. Everything is about relationships!
2. You can’t get something for nothing.
3. You are accountable.
4. You cannot neglect your academic life and expect your academic life to support you. It needs to be fed, nurtured, just like relationships.
When I challenged my colleague on writing recommendations for students who do not deserve them, he felt a reasonable compromise was writing it in such a way that did not “recommend” the student, confessing, “Well, I wrote something very bland. It was something like ‘this student has potential’. . .”
Boo!
Conflict-avoider!
What about telling students that they have potential but they have not shown it to you, so you are not the best person to write the letter? I have my share of recommendations to write, but not nearly as much as some of my colleagues—the same ones who complain about the student after the student walks away with the sealed letter in hand.
Hey don’t moan and complain about all the work you have to do. This, you bring on yourself!
I scare my students in advance. In August, when they return to school, I begin telling them that this is a relationship, and that one day they will ask me for a favor and that I will not forget how they were during the year. I tell them that I will not lose sleep to write a recommendation for anyone who has not lost sleep studying for my class. Just as a college will “judge” them at the admissions process, I tell them, they need to get used to the idea that their actions reflect how they are viewed. They cannot underperform and expect an endorsement for it.
This type of conflict is good, comrades. It is constructive. It is character-building. Do not avoid it. Stop being conflict-avoiders! Let me leave you with a proverb (which actually is in the bible) I learned years ago, on my first reading of the bible:
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses~ Proverbs 27:6
It may hurt them, but in the end, you will help them in their social and professional development. Additionally, not only will your guidance be trusted, but they will also complain about you to their peers, thereby spreading seeds, the word, the gospel, the “good news” in the ears of the underclassmen, that beautiful gospel of academic prosperity~ Give and ye shall receive.
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