RSS
Home
Balanced working moms know the formula
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
When I first entered the realm of working motherhood more than eight years ago, I remember that terrifying wave of fear that captured me once I realized that life as I knew it was over. Motherhood became the window through which old beliefs and dreams exited and fresh ones entered. Most striking was how my window went from total clarity to a complete blur. Seemingly overnight, life just went off center. And so began my personal quest for the ultimate prize in motherhood – balance.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that a life consumed by the pursuit of balance would be one filled with stress, fear and anxiety. I imagined myself teetering on a tightrope, holding up all the responsibilities in my life as I tried not to let anything topple over into a crashing heap. That image caused physical, mental and emotional tension as I attempted to maneuver my life around the demands of career and family.
Today, as a work-at-home mom of three – age 8, 6 and 3 – I continue to seek balance, but these days I no longer ask, “How do I achieve balance in my life?” I’ve learned it’s a flawed question and one that won’t ever be answered to my satisfaction.
Peter Block, author of The Answer to How Is Yes, sheds light on why my question was flawed when he writes, “How questions express a doubt about whether we know enough and are enough; it also affirms the belief that what works is the defining question, a major source of our identity.”
Whoa. I first read those words in 2004, then a frazzled working mom of a toddler and newborn, and the passage made me realize that my pursuit of balance was wholly based on function, rather than meaning. I was focused on tasks rather than people. I was becoming more operational and less emotional. I was losing myself to the day-to-day responsibilities of working motherhood, which left little time for me to enjoy life.
Since then, I’ve learned that balance comes from having a deep understanding of myself, claiming what I want from life and having a process to get there. That’s it! When those three elements are in place, life is balanced and I’m in my groove.
It all boils down to this simple formula: Balance = You + Dreams + System
Related Articles:
Add a Comment
