Are you ready for marriage?

August 29, 9:29 AMRelationship ExaminerKristen Houghton

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You’ve got the ring, you’ve set the date. You’re dreaming of your beautiful wedding gown and the lovely slow walk down the aisle. The reception place is booked, the flowers and favors ordered, the menu confirmed, and the honeymoon destination set. Add to this the fact that “you’re so completely in love” and all you focus on is the wedding day. 

You’re all ready for your wedding; but, are you ready for marriage? 

The “M” word is something that many couples don’t really consider until after the honeymoon. With all the dizzying preparations surrounding the planning and executing of a wedding, the reality of married life takes a back seat. Sometimes its “seat” is so far in the recesses of your mind that you find you and your partner have prepared for everything, down to the minutest detail, except the actual marriage itself. 

So how do you know you’re ready for marriage?

The questions to ask are very practical ones:

You should ask how much money each of you will be contributing to the marriage You’re not being “nosey,” this is a partnership. No savvy business person would go into a partnership where the inflow and outflow of cash wasn’t discussed at length.

If your spouse is finishing education, are you going to be the sole support of the household?  

What if you want to go back to school; will the same financial arrangement be extended to you?

Talk about health benefits. Who has the primary insurance? What about short and long term disability?  

The question of household chores is sure to rear its ugly head. Discuss dividing and conquering the work. Being female doesn’t automatically make you domestic and being male doesn’t mean you’re the handyman.

Talk about the future. Where would you really like to live? What about a career change later on? What are your true feelings about being a parent? Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind. Even psychics need to discuss goals with their spouses! 

Sexuality is something that we think will take care of itself. Sometimes it doesn’t. Discuss this with your mate. It is essential that you both know what the other wants.  

Plan for your married life with the same meticulous care as your wedding! The wedding is one day, the marriage should last a lot longer.

*** © 2009 all rights reserved Kristen Houghton

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Do you sabotage your own happiness in order to make other people in your life happy? Learn how to put your own life first! Read Kristen Houghton's new book, "AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!"  due in stores in Fall 2009. Pre-order it today. Available at Borders, Amazon, and all bookstores.

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