Mismatched couple?

July 8, 7:38 AMRelationship ExaminerKristen Houghton

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Have you ever seen couples who are so mismatched that you wonder how they ever got together in the first place? Couples who seem to have absolutely nothing at all in common save for the fact that they are a couple? Does it make you question your own relationship? Did you ever think that maybe you’re not in the right one yourself?

Being part of a couple is one of the most complex interactions men and women make. Why we’re drawn to a person is a composite of many different things. What are we looking for and in whom will we find what we want? We’re not always conscious of the real reasons we begin a relationship. Some relationships will grow and last; others will wither and end.

The problem arises when a relationship you thought was good for you turns out to be not so good after awhile. If you are feeling you’re not in the right relationship, you need to consider the following statements.   

Being part of a couple, (any couple), is the most important issue in your life

If this is true then you need to find out exactly why you feel this way. What is so lacking in life as a single that you are willing to compromise just to be part of a couple?

He's Motel 6, you're Ritz-Carlton Resort

You’ve changed in your life’s expectations but he is satisfied with life as it was and still is. You want an upgrade, he doesn’t. This becomes more of a major problem the longer you are together. Unless he "converts" to upgrading life or you are willing to downgrade, you're stuck.

The level playing field of your relationship has changed

You started your relationship as fairly equal both educationally and financially but things have changed. You’re going for post grad education or are changing careers. Maybe you’re making more money than he is and resent paying more than your share. You are moving ahead and he is stagnating.

You are no longer compatible as partners

The relationship hasn’t grown. What you once needed in a relationship isn’t what you need now.

There’s no animosity, no anger, just a knowledge that you two aren’t really meant for each.

Sex is 'just okay, no big deal'

Unless there are health reasons, unexpected temporary responsibilities, or intense job pressures, sex should never be 'just okay.' If it is becoming a chore, reevaluate your reasons for being together.

The best relationship is one which grows and changes while allowing both partners to mature and grow separately as well as together. It challenges you mentally and satisfies your needs as a couple. Make sure you’re in the right relationship for you. Existing is not living.

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Like this article? Read the following articles by Kristen Houghton-

related articles - Can You Fall Out of Love? The Answer is Yes.

                         Dating or Marrying Your Best Friend’s Ex

© 2009 all rights reserved Kristen Houghton 

Do you put your own happiness on hold just to make other people happy? Learn how to put your life first in Kristen Houghton's new book  "And Then I'll Be Happy!"  due in stores 12/22/09 Pre-order it today.

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