What he's really thinking when he sees you nude - Relationship Reality

July 28, 9:02 AMRelationship ExaminerKristen Houghton

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 Hi Kristen, I have a problem that I think many women might have. I am a little embarrassed to have my boyfriend see me completely nude.  To me my body seems just average I guess, nothing spectacular and certainly not one I would call sexy. However, my guy likes to see me undress and worse, likes to have the lights on during sex! To be fair to him, he has never made a negative comment about my body. On the contrary he seems to like it!  I can't help but wonder though, what is he really thinking when he sees me naked!-----Callie

What's he really thinking when he sees you nude? Two words: eye candy. And quite honestly Callie, he's more than likely not thinking at all!

There's a silly old joke that goes:

What turns a woman on? Answer: A romantic dinner with a considerate lover.

What turns a man on? Answer: A naked woman holding a pizza!

It may be a lame joke but there's a bit of truth to it. As several of my men friends put it, "We're just not that cerebral when it comes to seeing our women nude. There's more instinct than thinking going on and a kind of gratefulness that we're having this visual enjoyment." 

A lot of women feel that their bodies are just average as you say, but guess what? Your man sees nothing average about you. The heterosexual male sees a body that is as different from his own as a body can be. It is the body itself, the softness, the curves, the female definition, that he is looking at and appreciating. Where you may see "nothing spectacular" he sees a form that is desirable right there in front of him. The fact that this desirable form is attainable to him adds to his pleasurable view. To him your body is hot and sexy and he is ready to go. 

The female body is a mystery to most men. The knowledge that this "mysterious body" is available to him for exploration is exciting. He's Indiana Jones on the quest for the Holy Grail!

You can help yourself to feel comfortable being nude in front of your man by seeing your body for what it really is; a magical work of art. If you're comparing yourself to others, don't. You are you and you are what he wants. Think about how the female form has always been extolled and honored in art and sculpture for centuries. There's a very good reason for this: it is an erotic creation of beauty.

Still not comfortable with all the lights on? Try this. Undress by one of the most flattering forms of illumination known to humankind - candlelight. Tell your man that this romantic light is a great mood enhancer. Believe me he'll be sure to agree.

The relationship reality is that when you allow your man to see you in various stages of undress and then completely nude, you're giving him a great visual performance. To him (and his libido), you're a spectacular star!

*** © 2009 all rights reserved Kristen Houghton 

Kristen's "Relationship Reality" appears every Tuesday in the Examiner

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