Everything's Personal, Nothing's Sacred - loss of a child is a private matter

January 8, 9:04 PMRelationship ExaminerKristen Houghton

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The Friday column titled "Everything's Personal, Nothing's Sacred" is usually reserved for satire. But this weekend's edition has to do with privacy. Most specifically the privacy needed when someone has lost a child. It shouldn't matter whether that someone is an unknown or a celebrity, everyone should respect their private grief.

And grief is a very private matter. It is heartbreakingly personal and that should be respected. The death of Jett Travolta should not be treated as fodder for the gossip mills.  It should not be cause for the curiosity seekers, the mean-minded, or the rumor-mongers.Please remember that this is someone's precious child, their baby no matter what his age. They remember holding that baby, loving that child, and dreaming about the future. Let them grieve in private.

A college professor once told me that "news is news and everything must be reported." That is true. But there is a vast difference between seriously reporting a death and sensationalizing it with rumors. Unfortunately, whenever a celebrity dies or a celebrity's family suffers a loss the latter is what happens. A sort of feeding frenzy occurs and everyone wants to know all the details. You have only to hear the names Anna Nicole Smith or Heath Ledger to understand what I mean.

I understand human curiosity, we are curious beings. That curiosity has helped us to survive as a species. What I don't understand, and what I find terrible,  is the feverish circus-like atmosphere about what is essentially the most private of all matters.

No one could ever blame grieving parents if they told one and all to leave them the hell alone. But they won't; they won't because they are numbed by overwhelming grief.  And their grief is all too often entertainment for the morbidly curious.

Let the parents have their privacy. Let them comfort each other as much as possible. Send cards, send condolences but leave them alone.

Have respect and compassion for them no matter who they.

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"Everything's Personal, Nothing's Sacred" by Kristen Houghton appears every Friday in the Examiner.

© 2009 all rights reserved Kristen Houghton 

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