A happiness key for a successful relationship with yourself

November 9, 5:32 PMRelationship ExaminerKristen Houghton

Previous Next

Comment Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the Relationship Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

photo credit:awilliamhopperphotography

My friend meteorologist John Elliott of CBS news reminded me today that this week has been designated as The Pursuit of Happiness Week. This makes it a perfect time to use the  happiness key that  helps to create a successful relationship with yourself.

Happiness Key: You are the only one who can make your life successful.

Do not spend a good part of every single day obsessing over what other people have or how they live. Spend more time on thinking of ways to make your life be the way you want it to be. Make small changes and have several short-term goals.

I met a woman who had one big problem in finding her key to happiness: She constantly thought about how much other people she knew had that she herself didn't. It made her life miserable. It colored her relationships, her job, her friendships. She became mired in misery. A former friend who was tired of hearing only complaints described her as oozing depression. She needed a key to opening the door to her own talents.

Jealousy is a human emotion; we've all felt it and we all have, at one time or another, obsessed about what  have that we don't. That's perfectly normal; you couldn't get through life without having been bitten by the green-eyed monster at least once. But....and here's the problem, when you allow the envy to consume you, you are creating your own misery: a life that is unpleasant, unhappy and lonely. You need to change your thinking habits.  

I'm not going to be Ms. Sweetness and Light and tell you that by thinking happy thoughts you'll be like the Darling children in J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan. If that were the case, the world would be filled with people flying high all the time! Realistically that's not going to happen. But...by allowing yourself to wallow in jealousy, you are giving away control of your own life to someone who more than likely doesn't give you a second thought. Your thoughts about that person allows her to push the control buttons of your day.

 Granted there are people you know who love to brag about what they have, what they do, and how well they live. If you really thought rationally about these people, instead of allowing the envy monster to grow, you'd see that they have a real problem. They see their self-worth as nothing more than possessions and spending money. They are not living successfully because without what they brag about, they have no sense of self. The happiest people are the ones who enjoy what they have, create attainable goals, and think of ways to make life better for  themselves first. Become one of them. Use the key to make your own successful living.

*This article is an excerpt from © 2009 "The Happiness Keys" by  Kristen Houghton  all rights reserved    

   andthenillbehappy.com

 ***44 days until "AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!
Do you sabotage your own happiness in order to make other people in your life happy? Learn how to put your own life first! Read Kristen Houghton's new book, "AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!" due in stores in December 22, 2009. Pre-order it today. Available at Barnes and Noble, Borders, Amazon, and all bookstores.

*The above article may not be rewritten, copied, published, broadcast, or redistributed, wholly or in any part, without the express written permission of Kristen Houghton