The importance of make-up sex

October 20, 7:25 AMRelationship ExaminerKristen Houghton

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You had a major league, no-holds-barred, fight. You both used words like sharpened weapons; feelings are not only hurt, they're ripped to shreds and in the calm after the storm you are mad as hell. You fume for days. The last thing you want is physical contact. It will be a long time before that happens again you tell yourself!

Then one night he reaches for you and you are stunned, shocked, and annoyed as anything that he wants sex! "Are you kidding?!" you want to say. "I'm still mad!" But he seems to genuinely want to make love as if the act itself will be a healing balm for the hurt you've caused each other. You're reluctant to "give in." Honestly, does he think this will make everything "all right?"

Honestly he does and surprisingly it will.

Fights are draining and too many of them without letup can make so many cracks in a relationship it becomes hard to make it whole again. You're human, you're two individuals who are in a relationship; fights are always going to happen; that's a given. You need a healing period to help you remember why you're together. Makeup sex is the balm that brings that memory back.

The great part about having sex after an argument is that it does wonders for both your physical and mental self. The act alone releases endorphins, the "feel-good" hormone. It reduces stress and is perfect for your anger management. It's hard to feel angry towards someone with whom you have just shared terrific intimacy. More than stress relief, however, make-up sex solidifies the bond you have together. It is a way of saying I'm sorry without actually using words. The intimate act alone tells you that. 

And sex used as a peace offering is more intense, stronger, sweeter, hotter,and better. It is as if you both unconsciously want to put the unpleasantness of the fight behind you and focus on the pleasure of life. It takes away the sting, puts you in a loving mood, and allows you to see the fight for what it was. You are more focused on what is important and believe me it isn't the disagreement.

So the next time he wants to use make-up sex as a way to get back together, go for it. The physical intimacy that gives so much pleasure has natural healing powers

***© 2009 all rights reserved Kristen Houghton.The above articles may not be rewritten, copied, published, broadcast, or redistributed, wholly or in any part, without the express written permission of Kristen Houghton.

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