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Would You 'Re'Marry Your Ex? Surprisingly Many Do!
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Checking my snail-mail at home, I saw a beautifully inscribed wedding invitation. It was from a divorced couple I knew. They were ‘re’-marrying each other.
“Come share our happiness as we celebrate our love in our re-marriage with a renewal of our original marriage vows.”
I was a little puzzled because the couple had had a bit of a tumultuous married history, initiating divorce proceedings only three years into the marriage. What had made them get back together and, omigod! what had prompted them to decide to renew their original vows when those same vows obviously hadn’t “taken” the first time around?!
Yet here they were getting married…again.
Perhaps there is something to the meaning of the word, “soul-mate.” Some spiritual beliefs say that two souls are destined from before birth to be together. Others believe that you and your spouse will wed each other throughout seven reincarnations, regardless of any turmoil you may have experienced as a couple.
Spiritual beliefs aside, there are reasons that you might re-marry your former spouse. One of these is the inherent goodness or qualities of the person with whom you fell in love. You began to love this person for a reason, a part of it may have been their strengths, their kindness; their treatment of others. The other person has something intangible that appeals to you.
If the marriage as a whole had been good with mutual respect a primary ingredient, 60% of divorced couples will marry each other again within eight years of divorcing. Many will use their original vows while others will have new ones written to express their, (hopefully), more mature selves.
My friend put it best when she said:
“We’re “re-marrying” each other because we have found that something was missing in our lives without the other person in it. It’s more than love, it is indefinable. Now that we have knowledge of who we are, and where we want to be, we’re ready to be the couple we know we can be.”
Nicely said.
I do have a question about attending the wedding though.
Do I bring the ‘re’-married couple a new wedding present or, does the gift for their first time marriage suffice? Hmmmmmmm!
Questions? Want to see a certain relationship topic addressed?
Add a comment here or email me at: kch@kristenhoughton.com
Copyright ©2008 by Kristen Houghton. All rights reserved.
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