RSS
Home
Help! My Parents Still Love My Ex-Husband!
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
We assume that once a marriage is over it is over for all adults concerned; husband, wife, and in-laws. Unless there are children involved, most divorcees feel that there is no earthly reason to still see their ex on a continuing basis.
So what can possibly stop a woman from beginning a new life after divorce? How about her own parents.
Despite the problems between a married couple that causes them to get a divorce, the in-laws may still see the ex son-in-law as someone they really and truly care for. Many times he may be a good man who is just not good for their daughter. They still consider him a vital part of their family and will see nothing wrong with inviting him to family events or giving him birthday and holiday presents. As one divorced woman put it:
“My parents see my ex as a great guy and, to be honest, he is. In fact, he is still a very welcome guest in my parents’ home. The problem is that it has been two years since we divorced and I am now dating someone else. It is a little awkward to have my ex-husband and my current boyfriend, meet at family parties. My parents however see nothing wrong with it. They love their ex son-in-law.”
Your new man may not be okay with seeing your ex at family gatherings either. He may feel he is second best in the eyes of your parents.
What can you do to ease a situation so no one feels slighted? You are going to have to brush up on Diplomacy 101 and do some serious talking with everyone involved.
Talk to your parents first. Ask them not to have your ex-husband over to every family affair. Remind them that you’ve begun a new life and a new relationship and tell them they have to “move on” as well.”
Next, politely speak with your ex. If he’s as great a guy as your parents think he is, he’ll understand the awkwardness of the situation for you and your new man. You may be surprised-he may genuinely care about your parents and not want to hurt their feelings by turning down invitations. See if some compromise can be reached about him attending all family get-togethers. Sweeten the deal by telling him he is entitled to bring a date to any family gathering if he chooses. Fair is fair, after all.
Talk to the new man in your life last. Let him understand that your ex and you are definitely not getting back together. If your new man is also a great guy, he will understand how your parents feel even if he doesn’t agree with them.
Questions? Want to see a certain relationship topic addressed?
Add a comment here or email me at: kch@kristenhoughton.com
Copyright ©2008 by Kristen Houghton. All rights reserved.
Related Articles:
Comments
.jpg)
The message of “A Christmas Carol” is a beautiful one for all religions and beliefs. The presents have all been wrapped and you’re …
(31).jpg)
Let’s play nice kiddies, the holidays are coming! However there are some ‘children’ who, it seems, won’t play nice even if …
- The Keys to Happiness Blog
- The Ever Elusive State of Happiness
- Now That We're Both Exhausted, Let's Have Sex!
- Sex! Murder! Infidelity! Lies! Surrogacy Gone Wrong!
- Panti-less in NYC
- Like it? Put a Ring on It ! - Monogamy Defined
- How to Have a Happy, Healthy Relationship 101
- Of Royalty, Male Heirs, and the Almighty Penis
- Meet the Other Woman in Your Extramarital Affair - His Wife
- The Importance of Make-Up Sex
- Sex With Your Ex? Maybe, Maybe Not
- Letting Go of Relationship Road Kill
- Dry Vagina or Dementia? Some Choice!
- Internet Relationships - Is It Really Cheating?
- The Greying of the Pubis
- A Long Distance Relationship Can Be Good for Both of You
- The Art Of Dealing With An Office Break-Up
- Toxic In-Laws
- All Day Foreplay? Why Not!
- Different Sex Drives - Getting in Tune With Each Other
- Creating an Emotional Relationship 101
- It Is Okay to Have a Selfish Marriage
- Solving the Conflicts of Being a Spouse and a Parent
- How to Survive Vacationing With the In-Laws
- Playtime for Adults 101
- Fighting - Do You Want to Win or Be Happy?
- The Importance of Keeping Health Records
- Run Your Relationship Like You'd Run a Business - It Works!
- Society of Professional Journalists
- National Press Club
- Writers Guild of America
