Saying I love you (isn't for wimps)!

December 3, 5:39 PMRelationship ExaminerKristen Houghton

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It takes a strong person to say “I love you.” That expression isn’t for the cowardly.

I love you seems to be a “Hallmark Christmas card” term. A favorite saying in some cards is- “I know I don’t always say it but I love you or, “even though I don’t say it often enough, I love you.”

I’d like to challenge that statement by asking, “why don’t you say it, and often?” Be gutsy and just say it.
 
Saying “I love you” is something that should be said during the day. When you leave the house, when you hang up after speaking on the phone, when you e-mail or text each other, say I love you.

How many times have you gone out the door or hung up the phone after a fight? Do you really want the last words someone hears from you to be filled with anger and not love?

Too often we take the fact that someone knows we love them for granted. While most of us do know that our spouse loves us, we also know that it is nice to hear them say it.

Love is something that needs nourishment through actions and words. It is a living thing. Just as a plant will not survive without water and sunshine, love will wither if we don’t “feed” it. Saying “I love you” and showing affection, especially when it is unexpected, feeds our love.

“Saying I love you isn’t necessary because if he doesn’t know it by now, he never will,” a woman married for more than thirty years told me.

I disagree.

It doesn’t matter how long you’re together, hearing someone say “I love” you makes you feel that they care. Hearing these words before you leave the house can get your day going on a positive note; hearing them on the phone at work can brighten up a day. Hearing “I love you,” accompanied by a hug, can end a day with love and comfort. Three simple words can make a world of difference.

Some people are embarrassed to say I love in case they are overheard, but no one should refrain from saying “I love you” for fear of being mocked.  A colleague of mine at a magazine was a large formidable man, named Darius. He never hung up the phone without saying “I love you” to his wife.

One day another colleague overheard him speaking to his wife and laughingly mocked him by saying, “a-h-h-h, how sweet!!” Darius laughed good-naturedly but later told me something I’ve never forgotten,

“It doesn’t bother me. That guy is just an insensitive bore. Who is more important to me, my wife or my co-worker? I want my wife to know I love her every single minute of the day. That’s it. Period.”

Don’t be a wimp. Say I love you. Make someone’s day beautiful with the knowledge that, no matter how the day is going, he or she is loved.

Take some time to say, “I love you” during the holiday rush and make it a habit for the new year.

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© 2008 all rights reserved Kristen Houghton 

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