Holidays bring out the best and the worst in couples

November 20, 6:40 PMRelationship ExaminerKristen Houghton

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The best is the holiday spirit. The worst can be the holiday spirits. And wine seems to be the spirit of the moment for some “problem drinker” couples. 

Everywhere you go from Thanksgiving on through January, you see alcoholic beverages. At parties you see couples carrying wine bags, some fancy designer cloth ones, others simple colored paper. There are even some “twosome” bags carrying a “bottle of red, bottle of white, it all depends upon your appetite, thank you, Billy Joel.”

Enough variety there to make both partners happy.
 
A friend comments to me that you can’t “become an alcoholic drinking wine.”

But you can; alcohol is alcohol. While a glass of wine may not be as potent as a glass of hard liquor, if you drink a large enough quantity of it, the effect is the same. The path to becoming an alcoholic by drinking wine is on the same road as whiskey or scotch.

Today’s films extol the consumption of wine. The character is modern and upscale if he or she is shown drinking wine out of a fancy glass. We tend to see drinking wine in 2008 in much the same way as movie goers in the 1930’s saw cigarette smoking-it’s a sophisticated thing to do. The symbol of the wine-bag has replaced the silver cigarette case as the new status symbol for “with-it” diners.

But while drinking wine in moderation doesn’t have the same health hazard as even the most moderate smoking habit, it becomes a danger to health when the person drinking it becomes addicted to the false feeling of calm and the lack of inhibition the alcohol brings. More and more is needed to keep the buzz going until you can’t function or feel like yourself without it.

We have become the wine generation. Wines from places like Australia and South Africa are in vogue; new, exciting flavors for the sophisticated amateur sommelier’s palate, just waiting to be tasted. The belief is that wine is innocuous. How can something that is good for you cause you any harm? Our conscious mind doesn’t see wine as a real alcoholic beverage. Many of us growing up in families who came from countries like Italy, Spain, or France remember dinners where wine was always on the table.

Even though it has been proven that drinking red wine can be beneficial to your health, medical experts are very quick to caution that if a person has a “problem” with alcohol, then dark grape juice, or red and black grapes, will produce the same benefits as any wine.

We all know couples who drink too much at holiday time; couples who have a “whino-voice,” argue in front of others, and act in inappropriate ways because they have over-imbibed.  It is more sad than funny.

Drink responsibly during this holiday season and at all times of the year. The holidays can be a time for fun and high spirits. Just make sure those high spirits come from the heart and not from too much booze.

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